Dear Lucy: How do I get my husband to be more involved as a parent? Saturday, July 6 2013 Dear Senga Lucy, Which is the best way to get my husband on board when it comes to being a parent? I want him to be a more involved father, and not an aloof one like his own father seems to have been. Parenting is an awesome task and no one can say for certain that they have mastered the art of being a parent. It is learnt, the process often taking us through several mistakes. We also learn by example, given or showed to us by people we consider as role models. It is good that you know that your husband has not had much of an example in his father – therefore it will have to take your patience and tolerance to help and enable him to be a good father, different from his own. Encouragement is key here. We build each other up that way, and in the process, these words of encouragement draw us closer to each other, and help us to work together towards one goal. Any word of discouragement or ridicule will drive him not only away from trying to do better, but also from you. Guard against being too critical of the little effort that he makes. It is so easy to want to say: ‘No, that’s not the way it’s done’ because you know better than he does. Appreciation is another key. Don’t try to play the expert. Appreciate his efforts, however slow or small. Make use of the wonderful parenting books that have been written and are available on the market. These are always helpful and you can never learn too much about parenting. Finally, guard against making reference to his father’s parenting skills, or the lack of it. If at any one time, you should say or do anything that seems to imply that his father is a bad parent, you will have won for yourself an enemy. Also guard against creating that wrong impression about him to your children. father of your children in the process. Your husband is the father of your children, and your greatest responsibility is to ensure that you show respect to him and demand the same respect for him from the children. You will have won for yourself a husband, and a wonderful father of your children in the process. Senga Lucy
Posted on: Wed, 17 Jul 2013 06:46:17 +0000
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