Dearest love, I am not even sure how to express what I am feeling at this very moment, words couldn’t begin to tell you what I am going through. No one really understands what went into being me and you. I won’t lie, I complained and whined about all the things that were going wrong, I put you up there on a crucifix because I was weighing you against myself. I felt I was pulling both our weight and that strain really took its toll on my heart and my mind. I still don’t blame you though. I know it is hard for you and I knew it then too. I guess the curse of being a woman or even someone like me, you want to give all the things you can to someone, help them become the better version of themselves. Only that person can make that happen for themselves. I see that now. I still don’t want to believe that but I have no choice. It is not that I will cripple without you. It is not that I can’t be alone. Neither of those things are making me feel the way that I do. I can try to put into words why but the actual feelings, no words can justify.We can be nostalgec, we can go back to the beginning but what sense would that do. The only thing that matters is that we were best friends since the first day and we are best friends today. The bottom line is this, we have made some really great memories and we have been through really tough times, and hopefully we are better for it. I am your best friend, I’d walk to the end of line with you, I want to believe that you can say the same one day. Our lives are changing now, a chapter is ending, but the story continues on, we can wait for the words to be written or we can write our own path, it is up to me and it is up to you. I know you won’t see this. These words don’t begin to describe the thoughts and feelings I have. I am trying very hard to translate it from my mind to the page, it is not possible at this time. No one knows. I don’t even know what goes on through your mind fully and vice versa. Maybe a secret sigh of relief or weeping cries from the pit in your stomach that you just can’t seem to shake off. I don’t know. No regrets. Only love
Posted on: Wed, 07 Jan 2015 07:15:32 +0000
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