Dowry – Evil is on both sides; tradition the real culprit. The problem in India is that we cannot separate the chaff from the wheat. Some people claim it is all wheat and others allege it is all chaff. Likewise feminists paint all men as dowry-hungry tyrants and male chauvinists say women use anti-dowry law only to loot men and wreck homes; and the war continues. In the process, the real culprit escapes notice. Who is the real culprit? Real culprit is the tradition of girl side having to give dowry to the boy side, of having to foot the major portion of lavish marriage ceremony bill, of marriage ceremony having to be lavish, of the woman having to leave her parents even if they have nobody to look after and to be expected to cater to all whims of her husband’s parents, of women having to face all kinds of restrictions, of women being considered inferior to men, of women being considered so much of a burden that they need to be killed in the womb… the list is not exhaustive. We make it emphatically clear that we abhor the misuse of anti-dowry provisions. The Supreme Court recently ruled that police cannot arrest accused in such cases “automatically” and it must give reasons for taking such steps which would be judicially examined. This gives much needed relief to victims of misuse of anti-dowry laws. The full text of the Supreme Court judgement and other useful information can be found at menrightsindia.net/2014/07/automatic-arrest-498a-says-supreme-court.html But abuse of a principle does not negate the principle. It cannot be denied that women in general suffer on account of patriarchal traditions. We must put an end to such pernicious traditions and the call to end them should come from men. It is in men’s own interest more than in that of women that traditions like dowry and burden of lavish marriage expense on bride side fade away. If these traditions go, there will be no 498A in the hands of women to exploit. There will be no Application to give back dowry articles because none would have been given at all. There will be no claim for reimbursement of marriage expenses for they would be small and shared by both sides. No court would accept that one, who married without taking a single penny in dowry, tortured his wife for dowry later. No mother-in-law or sister-in-law would have to fear anti-dowry laws for the bride and the groom will set up their own home without assistance from parents of either. Living their free separate life, they will love, respect and support parents of both. If the couple set up their separate home, the biggest reason for son preference – son living with parents and daughter not doing so – will go. Son and daughter will become equal. So abolition of the traditions of dowry and lavish marriage expenses is for the benefit of the entire society.
Posted on: Sat, 18 Oct 2014 13:26:38 +0000
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