Feminist until you get married Activist until you get rich Atheist until the airplane starts falling’. This is one quote that aptly describes how we tend to dance to a different tune (Change mouth as we used to say when we were little) when our situation in life changes. You know those kind of people who speak vehemently about something until they get the opportunity to do it? Those are the kind of people this article seeks to describe. We all have that one person who once swore that their rich uncle’s wife was the laziest and most extravagant woman ever. I mean how could the aunt in question dare to have a house help, go shopping everyday and not even allow her husband help the people around him. Then this friend gets married to a wealthy husband and then realizes that the challenges that accompany the lifestyle might have been what necessitated the aunt’s behavior. At this point, she changes mouth and starts saying things like ‘You can’t help everybody oh’ ‘The challenges of handling all the people that visit us as well as my day job has made me get 5 maids’, ‘I have to change my Wardrobe constantly so I don’t embarrass my husband’ bla bla bla. You’re changing mouth! What about the folks who criticize others for spending so much money on their children’s education saying things like ‘Is it not just ABC?, ‘we attended schools where we didn’t have to pay that much’, ‘A child that will be successful will be successful’ only to make some money and spend millions on their children’s education saying things like ‘Children need the right grooming and circle of friends to compete on a global scale’ Issokay, we haff heard you oh! but …..errrm, you’re changing mouth sha. The ladies who swear that they would never get married to a man if he doesn’t have the TDHGRT factor ( Tall, Dark, Handsome, Generous, Rich and Tush factor) only to get married to someone far off the mark. When you try to explain it by saying things like ‘I just got older and realized that what really mattered was if he had potential as well as my happiness, peace and contentment’ we agree with you, but my sister thou hast changed mouth full-stop. The guys are not left out too. When you diss your friend’s wife, swearing that you would only marry a woman with Halle Berry’s looks, Beyonce’s curves, Shakira’s dance skills and Michelle Obama’s intelligence and then end up with the average girl, your explanation of ‘when I met her, I knew she was the one so I had to let go of the other contenders and every requirement I had on my list and just claim her’ – while sweet and inspiring doesn’t change the fact that you have changed mouth. Another thing that came to my mind was those crop of people that will condemn someone for buying an expensive car and even going ahead by suggesting what they should have done with the money, for example: ‘ They should have bought a ‘smaller’ car and helped people with the rest of the money, OR ‘ they should have given it to charity, vanity upon vanity is vanity’, OR ‘ how can anyone waste their money to rent an apartment in that upscale part of town ( good location, 5 minutes drive from work) when they could have used the money to buy their own property ( location: another state but close enough to town, during rush hour, 4 hours drive to work!) Such people, given the opportunity and money do much worse than the people they condemn. I’ll never forget a lady’s story she said a friend of her mother told her mom that sewing for N1,500 was not wisdom.( this was around the year 2002 or so, her salary got upgraded…guess who was sewing for N5,000 How about those people that condemn other people’s children for having kids out of wedlock, only for their children to do the same? They find convenient excuses to suit their own like ‘it’s our culture to ‘test’ the fertility……e.t.c Another set of people are: I cannot marry a girl that is not a virgin, God forbid me marry a loose girl’ changes to: ‘I need a woman that has experience’. How about ‘I can’t sleep with a man or stay over at his house before marriage, all these girls that do it are ‘Ashawo’s’, That changes too! I can never use make-up OR I can’t use artificial hair, that’s for ungodly girls……..few years later: I’m just using the weave to cover my receding hairline and so on. Finally, those activists who criticize the government only to get a political appointment and become major champions of the government, we get it, you’re only doing your job, but you have changed mouth. PLEASE NOTE THAT I’ M NOT ADVOCATING FOR ANYTHING I’VE WRITTEN BUT STATING FACTS ON HOW I’VE SEEN PEOPLE ‘CHANGE MOUTH’ DUE TO CIRCUMSTANCES. IF I’M ASKED TO GIVE CHANGING MOUTH ANOTHER WORD, IT WILL BE HYPOCRISY. The essence of this write-up is not to cast aspersions on anybody in order to be funny. The real lesson is for us to realize that you really cannot speak about anything until you have experienced it. My mother used to say that the right to criticize is earned hence before you criticize anyone, you should have done whatever it is you’re criticizing about better than that individual or else you might just find yourself singing a different tune when placed in a similar situation as the individual you’ve been criticizing. Remember the popular saying ‘never judge a person until you have walked a mile in their shoes’. Some of us don’t even bother to wear the shoes at all before passing out judgment with lots of confidence. From the celebrities we’re confident that a maga paid for their vacation, to the guy we know combines his day job with fraudulent activities, we’re quick to hand out our verdict (and ending the statement with ‘It’s just my opinion’ doesn’t make it any less severe). We should realize that people are fickle, growing, learning and doing the best they can, given their peculiar circumstances. While we should not condone or encourage wrong doing of any kind, maybe we can love more and give people the benefit of doubt. A Wiseman once said ‘If God can delay judgment until after death, who are we to pass judgment on others especially when we really don’t know them or the challenges they face’. That said, we learn and grow everyday so there’s nothing to be ashamed of in saying that our former beliefs were wrong. But dears don’t judge, learnt to criticize less and be polite when you talk about other people so that if you change mouth, your friends will forgive you. #COPIED
Posted on: Mon, 10 Nov 2014 18:00:03 +0000
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