I am proud to be a Lutheran and thought that this was funny............. You Might Be a Lutheran If... ...you only serve Jell-O in the proper liturgical color for the season. ...you didnt know chow mein noodles were a Chinese food. ...when someone mentions red and green (in terms of Christmas), you immediately think of a battle over hymnals. ...during the entire service you hold your hymnal open but never look down at it. ...during communion you hum the hymns so you can see whos at church that Sunday. ...rather than introducing yourself to a visitor at church, you check their name out in the guestbook. ...you think Garrison Keillors stories are totally factual. ...you have your wedding reception in the fellowship hall and feel guilty about not staying to help clean up. ...a midlife crisis means switching from the old hymnbook to the new one. ...you forget to put water in the baptismal font but never forget to put water in the coffee pot. ...the pastor skips the last hymn to make sure church lasts exactly 60 minutes. ...you make spaghetti at your house with the little macaroni noodles because theyre not so messy then. ...you dont make eye contact when passing someone in the hall because you think its impolite. ...your choir believes volume is a fair substitute for tonality. ...you dont know what was sooo funny about dat movie Fargo then. ...in response to someone jumping up and shouting Praise the Lord!, you politely remind him or her that we dont do that around here. ...you think a meeting isnt legitimate unless its at least three hours long. ...peas in your tuna noodle hotdish add too much color. ...you make change in the offering plate for a ten. ...your dads name is Luther N., your brother is Luther Hahn and you are Lew Theran. ...you think butter is a spice. ...the church is on fire, and you rush in to save the coffee pot. ...you have more than five flavors of Jell-O in your pantry. ...you know what a dead spread is. ...you talk to someone else and look at their shoes first. ...you have more than three friends whose first names have the letter j as the second letter. ...the only open pew is up front, so you volunteer to shovel the sidewalk. ...Ole and Lena are really the names of your relatives. ...you know what a Lutheran Church Basement Woman is. ...you give a party and dont tell anyone where it is. ...you think hotdish is one of the major food groups. ...luthbro is one of your bookmarks. ...your five-year-old recites the Old Testament books as Genesis, Exodus, Lutefisk... ...someone asks you after church if theres any decaf coffee and you laugh because you KNOW that if it doesnt have caffeine, it cant be coffee! ...you think anyone who says casserole instead of hotdish is trying to be uppity (or maybe even Episcopalian!) ...you think the term Jell-O salad is redundant. ...you freeze the leftover coffee from fellowship hour for next week.
Posted on: Sun, 17 Nov 2013 04:28:27 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015