I finally sat down for the first time tonight because: A. I understand that my six person team is down two people so we all have to pick up the slack and B. I am the only nonsmoker on my team, so I am not self-entitled to a fifteen minute break every ten minutes. So I sit down on a bench and roll onto my back. I can hear my bones cracking as I do so. Ive worked a hard night. All is good in my world. At least it was until... Youre laying down! Someone on my team said, returning from her sixth smoke break since lunch time, and you look like one of my pet rats! I had no idea what she meant by that. She continued excitedly: so Im going to treat you like one of my rats! She began approaching me the same way the monster would approach Dr. Frankenstein, with her arms straight out in front of her. The only difference is that her fingers were moving in and out as if she was trying to juice an orange. She was in motion to tickle me. I said in a very bland, but stern, tone: Please do not treat me like your rats. It fell on deaf ears. Before I knew it, the fingers of a fifty year old woman ran up my side in a similar way that chills ran up my spine. She retreated You dont act like my rats. They love it when I do that. Instead of ending it right there, she snuck in for a secondary attack on my thigh. Please stop touching me, I said, I am uncomfortable. I guess that was an explicit enough statement since she walked away in a frumpy manner stating that she was just kidding and that I should learn to take a joke. 1. Dont ruin my only break when youve taken several. 2. Do not use socialization techniques learned from your pet rats on human beings. Especially on those you do not know personally. 3. I am not a rat by any meaning of the word, literal or figurative. And that is the highlight of my Friday night. Lets see you try to top that.
Posted on: Sat, 26 Oct 2013 05:57:01 +0000
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