I get so down on myself at times. I call myself names that I would never even think about another human much less voice about them. Things like clumsy and bumbling. Slow and weak. Fat. Pathetic. Its crazy. Some days I get so pumped and motivated, and I feel so hopeful. But, then I get so tired and emotional or get slammed with a migraine...and the muddy thinking and fatigue that comes after the migraine...and then I feel hopeless. And I call myself hopeless and think, who am I kidding? Why dont I just give up?? And I succumb to the temptation of sodas and cakes and pasta. And the cycle starts over. People tell me that I am too hard on myself and that I need to change my thinking...but that is advice easier said than done. And then i think other people see me as weak...or worse...as someone who just makes excuses. I believe that no one on earth can righteously judge another person because none of us know what its like to be in the other persons skin or to have walked the path they walked. Still...I wont give up. I just feel like I keep starting over because I keep failing. So, improvement seems to stay out of my reach.
Posted on: Sun, 21 Sep 2014 19:49:29 +0000