I know… by this time you read this letter Im gone. I just want to tell you that I feel very lucky and thankful to God that I had a friend like you. I would also like you to know that I had left something inside, something I kept from you all these years. I love you Chris, not in a friendly way but as one who would feel like spending the rest of my life with. I have always loved you even from the start. I guess it just bloomed each day thats why the happiest days of my life was… when you were by my side. You just dont know how I dreamed of you at night and wake up in the morning and dream no more for you were with me. When you were away, I cant stop crying because I was afraid to think that you are with another girl. I just cant bear to see you with another girl. I just want you all to myself. I may sound selfish but thats how I feel. Each time, you held me close to you, was like a dream coming true, for to be close to you and feel your heart beating next to mine was like heaven. So many things I did so that you will learn to love me but I NEVER saw a hint. I did everything to please you because I love you so much that I even tried to fool myself that youre in love with me too. So many nights Ive cried when I think of myself unloved by you. Well you might think that what Im saying are lies but, I tell you, my heart speaks the truth for I cannot bear telling a lie to the one I love. I know you might be thinking of Mark; but I just did that to make you jealous, to make you see me as a young woman, capable of loving and not as the little girl you used to play with. Sometimes I imagined that you were jealous and fooled myself that it was a sign that you feel something for me too. When Mark and I broke up and I came crying, I just did that to know… how you would react and with that Ill know that you love me too. But I failed for you didnt give me any clue. When our prom night came, you just dont know how happy I was when you handed me the corsage and saying that I was the loveliest girl in the whole world. While we were dancing, I wanted so desperately to hear you say that you love me too but you NEVER did. When Mark came and pleaded me to give him a second chance, I was scared that you might see us talking. I didnt want you to get the wrong impression so I told him we would talk in the garden. There I explained to him that its you whom I really love. What happened next was that I found you missing and later learned that you were searching for me, I just concluded that you saw us together. The next day, I tried to explain but then you never gave me a chance to do so. You continuously avoided me and never knew how much pain Ive experienced that time. I felt the world crushing on me. In our Graduation day, when I approached you, I wanted to tell you… how much I loved you but I decided that I just couldnt do it. I could not bear to hear that all you feel for me is just brotherly hand of love. For I want you to love me as a woman and not as a girl or playmate. So I just turned away and left. Now that saying I LOVE YOU might be too late, but still I want you to know that I will always love you and my heart has always been and will be yours alone. yan na ung letter dun sa send my love to heaven :D hahaha
Posted on: Tue, 21 Oct 2014 05:26:45 +0000
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