I turn to that book of incontrovertible wisdom, “RELEASING THE IMBECILE WITHIN: An incomplete idiots guide”, by Paul Livingston (a.k.a. Flacko). Therein (pp.108/110), we find the following exercise: I want you to put the book down, find an old trenchcoat and a beanie (a tea-cosy would do just nicely). Done? Good. Now don the coat and the beanie and head for the nearest train station. Destination is irrelevant, just jump on the next train. Ill wait for you. Now, see that seat at the front of the carriage? The seat which positions you facing the other occupants. Sit there. Now glance up from the page. Feeling a little paranoid now, are we? I thought so. THEY are all looking at you, arent THEY. I want you to read this next section, in a loud whisper, at speed, without breath. Keep the book as close to your eyes as possible, and every now and then brush imaginary bugs off your left shoulder. Now pull that beanie down across eyes and begin (if it’s a tea-cosy, great effect can be achieved by occasionally peeping out of the spout hole). For maximum effect, bellow the first two words at the top of your lungs. Go! ‘FATTY ARBUCKLE! ... spelt backwards is elkcubra yttaf mere coincidence I think not Elkubra was buried in the Sphinx by an amphibious visitor from Atlantis who killed princess Diana only seconds before she died mere coincidence I think not Elkcubra invented the Akubra hat which spelt backwards is arbuka which was Fatty Arbuckle’s pet name for his hat even though the moon landing was organized by two unemployed actors filmed entirely in Coober Pedy just south of thirty-three degrees of latitude the thirty-third degree being the Freemasons’ highest rank according to Jim Morrison while the lizard king was faking his own death mere coincidence I think not Kurt Cobain is living in a caravan in between jobs as predicted by Nostradamus who also predicted that OJ Simpson was white so says the FBI CIA and ASIO and by using these letters and adding a few more from the alphabet you get the sentence Fatty Arbuckle inaugurated the first trilateral commission mere coincidence I think not even accepting the fact that Dumpty didn’t fall he was pushed and Mary had a little lamb and some mint sauce who is Dolly anyway and does she bleat or is it a secret message to other sheep who existed before the fall of the Roman empire predicted by Bill Gates in 1972 mere coincidence I think not and you’d be curious too if the face of Harold Holt appeared in a tub of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter (it is!) according to astronauts aboard the Mir spacestation mere coincidence I think not the Wizard of Lee Harvey Ozwald all but owns CNN despite the fact that Jesus Christ was on board a boatload of refugees on course for Australia but he didn’t qualify for refugee status and is currently under house arrest on Christmas Island mere coincidence I think not …’ Abruptly glace up from the page. Did you feel THEIR eyes avert? Have several of THEM moved away? Note the suspicious glances. Why is SHE shepherding her twins away from you as she leaves the carriage? THEY are all around you. Right under your nose all the time. Be afraid. Be very afraid. See that switch? Use only in an emergency? What are you waiting for? Welcome home! And congratulations on spectacularly RTIW [Releasing The Imbecile Within]. tamrin.proboards/post/329
Posted on: Fri, 07 Mar 2014 08:57:30 +0000
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