Im at the point where I feel like being cruel , where I feel like disappearing , as mom I put up with a lot. I never asked to be pregnant , God choose when I suppose to have kids, but I never knew it be this frustrating to do it mostly by myself . 4 kids and I raised them all bymyself pretty much . I had beg for others help with my kids , big thanks to LoLo Thomas aka lorraine , frances shaugnhessy for being there for me in tines i needed it , I had to fight with my exs to be a part in there kids lives, and be a parent as well. I have no parents or grandparent of my own to lean on like others do , after time and time ,after years , why would I just stand by and not get all the credit? I get frustrated knowing Im the one who sacrificed n sacrificed my life to raise them , while the men in my life whom I made these children with , cant take care of there respondablities like I do, I miss work if my kid sick, I have take them with me if I have a game , i have clean up after them over and over feeling like a slave , I dont feel appreciated and feel like no cares about the things I do for my own family , I feel like I should disappear and never come back , and see how much would they have respect for me now ? Im frustrated my family show n make me feel like they dont care about my feelings , that raising my kids by my self is hard and tough doing it alone , my counsellor told me once , you cant take care of others if you cant take care of yourself ! Well what Ive been trying to do , taking a break , and already frustrated with the men in my life cuz the pathic and lazy! When Im sick I still clean up , when Im hurt I still clean up and get things done , Ive got head injury and not suppose to be doing things n I still doing them , how am I suppose to be feel love or appreciated when I do almost everything , Im done , I give up and I quit , is a mom suppose to say that? I get no respect from my kids and the fathers of my children , I feel like a slave or maid , no thank u , it looks great , good job mommy , nothing , my kids dont listen to me , and this how Ive been feeling for the last two months , I feel at loss , will someone show or tell or be my back bone and set my family straight ? Or do I disappear and not come back for a long time to they realize how much I do , do for them and work my ass off n sacrifice my life to make theres happy, the one time I wanna be selfish and take care of me for once , I get slapped in the face and told I dont care about my kids or that Im beig selfish right now ! pfff y I invited momma needs a break ! But even then I barley got thos only when I was really pissd n took off drinking ! I no longer drink so va-k it is ! I think I need one ! So cant be right either way? Cant listen to my therapist and take care of me for once ! Not working out , and getting to the point I wanna disappear n not take care of no one ! Im done venting ! If someone wants to have my back ! Go talk to my family n tell them how much I do love them and do care about them and do everything and do everything in my power to make them happyb4 me ! If I dont do this ! And take care me , Ill never wanna take care of anybody again ! N leave n disappear because that how I feel unappreciated!
Posted on: Mon, 19 Jan 2015 21:56:15 +0000
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