Im thinking of starting a blog and possibly a vlog, so I will start here to get started and test the waters. Enjoy. Q: If it helps someone or makes them feel better, then why try to take that away from them? What gives you the right? I think one of the largest problems with this stance and argument is simply a misunderstanding of what’s taking place, or being attempted to take place. To say that an atheist is trying to take something away from someone else is vilifying the atheist and the discourse before it even begins which leads more so to heated argument rather than intelligent discussion. What do I mean, and how is challenging someone’s, for lack of a better term, ‘comfort beliefs’ not the same as trying to strip them away from someone? There’s not necessarily anything wrong with having beliefs that soothe your suffering or give hope in times that people need it. Positive affects on human wellbeing are always a good thing objectively. At the same time, many of these same people who have supernatural beliefs would say that they would rather someone tell them a hurtful truth rather than a beautiful lie, and yet they will adhere to that very premise of knowingly excepting something irrational or unfounded when it suites their need. Many have told me that their premise for some of their beliefs is simply “because it makes me feel better”, not necessarily because they are devout theists or believe word for word the religious canon of their choice. This doesn’t make the belief viable though, and it’s not something that could be used to support any other idea or belief. If the president suggested we should drop a nuke on Japan tomorrow and his reasoning was “Well, it’d make me feel better” he would be immediately removed from office and probably committed. Point is simply because an idea makes you feel better does not validate it or raise it above being challenged. As I said before, objectively there’s nothing wrong with soothing words if it helps the person, but is it really helping them? In that particular moment perhaps it is, but what about beyond that? What’s really happening past that living moment when little Timmy is assured that ‘nana’ is in Heaven enjoying eternal bliss and will see him again someday? You’re embedding a way of thinking that is not grounded in reality. You’re teaching him that a supernatural and/or unfounded answer is acceptable and warranted for life’s struggles when it suites ones need. Why the need for irrational belief in mystical and supernatural answers to real life questions? If we are living in reality, and our problems and suffering is happening in reality, then why aren’t the answers to those issues present in reality too? Well they are, but usually desperate human beings tend to look for solace anywhere they can find it. I would call it weakness of mind, will, spirit, etc., but this is only a subjective opinion and I admit that openly. Circling back around to the beginning of this post, what atheists such as myself are attempting to argue is not to take away, but to provide more rational ways of dealing with hardships and loss without resulting to supernatural placebos. Instead teach and adopt realistic and healthy ways of dealing with these issues such as acceptance, mourning, support, humanism, and rationality. Death is a natural part of life. We all accept this and accept that it’s the inevitable conclusion for each and every sentient being. Accepting the objective fact is one thing, but coming to terms with the death of those we love or other hardships in life pushes people from rational to irrational to compensate for their anguish. So what do atheists do if they have no theistic promises of an afterlife or belief in supernatural here afters? We accept the person’s death, we allow ourselves to grieve and mourn, and we eventually move on carrying the person’s memory with us still loving them all the same. Terrible, right? But there’s no happily ever after in that story! There’s no promise of reuniting! There’s no happy ending in that! No eternal closure! Booo! Well that’s true, there’s not, but the thing is…that’s okay. The closure comes from accepting that the person is gone. The solace comes from enjoying the fact that you knew them while they lived, and that you and they were important to each other’s lives and cared for one another. Yes it does hurt that they’re gone, but that doesn’t mean you need elaborate fictions or pseudo-promises to deal with that loss. It also teaches children to mourn in a realistic way, and instills in them a sense of inner strength to deal with what can sometimes be a very harsh and unjust world. It also perpetuates a way of thinking of dealing with life’s ups and down such as break ups, divorce, losing friends, betrayal, being unemployed, losing a house, and so on that is more beneficial to their wellbeing. Rather than praying to the sky for answers or seeking comfort in fantasy, they will take the initiative to seek out the solutions on their own to deal with their problems with logical reasoning most beneficial for themselves, and to do so for others as well in their lives. Rather than saying “I’ll pray for you” and doing nothing, they may find more pride in reality by offering to help or take part in actual ways because it shows caring through action rather than to placate their own sense of relevance. (I’m not implying here that a secular way of thinking magically makes every person Superman, just that action and realistic assistance does more to alleviate suffering then three simple spoken words). Be honest, if you were bitten by a rattlesnake tomorrow while walking with a friend would you rather they hit their knees and pray or seek medical assistance as quickly as possible? That’s what I thought. In closing, our argument isn’t to take anything away from anyone. Believe what you will if it suites you, but keep in mind the habits you’re creating in how you deal with life’s struggles, and also more so habits that you are teaching to your children. There is nothing wrong with holding a supernatural belief rather than a realistic one objectively that hurts no one, this is true, but that doesn’t necessarily make that belief right or true or healthy psychologically. We’re not trying to take away people’s coping mechanisms so much as to point out that there are much healthier and realistic ways of dealing with pain in life. We’re trying to make it obvious copping out to dogma for comfort rather than accepting and dealing with a harsh reality can be psychologically detrimental to yourself and possibly others. Using delusions to support denial is not a healthy way to deal with life issues and struggles. Holding to unfounded beliefs or reassurance of an afterlife is a form of denial of reality, and it works exactly the same as when an addict claims they’re in control of their substance abuse. It may make them feel better in that moment, and may even reassure worried friends and family for the time being, but that doesn’t make their denial therefore intrinsically good because it soothes in that moment. We, I, would argue to outgrow and evolve beyond such immature rationales and deal with life’s issues with acceptance and rational perseverance and maturity. Fabricating realities is what children do when they want to avoid punishment or at least lessen the offense in hopes of diminishing the consequences. It’s an intrinsic defense mechanism. Beyond childhood though there is a much more real and at times seemingly unforgiving world. We live in a reality, the reality of our lives, the lives of those in our lives and us in theirs, and the reality of the world around us from moment to moment. No one knows for sure what lies beyond this life or if there’s anything waiting for us at all. What we do know though is that we are here, that this is our lives in this moment, and that we share this reality regardless of beliefs or opinions. So then what better armor to wear into the battle of life: the armor of pseudo-unfounded-unknown-wishful thinking, or the armor of logic-reasoning-acceptance-humanism? Feel free to comment below, and if you’d like to ask a question or ask for commentary on a topic I would be happy to oblige 😀
Posted on: Sun, 30 Nov 2014 09:31:42 +0000
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