In relationship mode today: Anyone can contradict themselves once or twice. We’re only human, and sometimes we make mistakes. It’s consistent behavior that conveys how someone really feels. Words can be deceiving, because sometimes when we lie to others it’s because we’re also lying to ourselves. Trust actions. That’s where the truth is. If you often find yourself in a position where you need to defend the other person, odds are there’s a consistently unacceptable behavior you’re trying to justify. As an example, a friend of mine dates someone who’d gets mean and nasty, mostly to her, but also to her friends. She explains how he’d had a difficult childhood, and that she wouldn’t walk out on him like everyone else had. Admirable though that might sound, she communicates through her actions that its okay for him to treat her badly—because of all he’d been through. In dating someone like this you might convince yourself that this person is just misunderstood, and that no one else wants to give them the compassion and support you’re willing to offer. It’s great to be compassionate, but we need to be compassionate with ourselves first—and that means acknowledging what’s just not okay.
Posted on: Sat, 30 Aug 2014 13:38:49 +0000
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