In the blink of an eye I dont often think about the casual encounters that we all have as we pass through the course of the day, the fleeting seconds that we intersect with other human beings that we dont know and likely will never see again - the sea of faces we pass walking down the street or through a mall, the nameless faces ahead and behind us in line at the bank or the grocery store. For the most part, in these transitory moments, my mind is elsewhere because my body is in transit - on the way to or from my real destination. I really dont think about the idea that in those brief moments of interaction, I have been subtly touched by or have touched another persons life, even if only for a fraction of second. That said, my parents always taught me to smile and speak to everyone because whatever attitude I project is what I am feeding into the world at any given time. So, although I dont think I really internalized that true meaning of that little teaching, I did practice it ... often to the shuddering embarrassment of my daughters who, to this day, remain aghast that I will chat pleasantly with complete strangers about the weather, that I say hello randomly as I walk through stores or on elevators, that I wave and smile to considerate drivers who yield to let me turn or enter into traffic (admittedly, the opportunity for this last one is much rarer!!! *chuckle*) This practice has often yielded interesting exchanges, funny stories, and just generally happy feelings. These are fleeting moments, though - hardly life-changing. Or so I thought. But at lunch time today, I was taught a little lesson in humility, that truly every moment of our lives can have unintended and unexpected influences on others that we dont even know, may never know. I normally dont leave work during the day but at noon today I had to scoot home and grab some papers for a meeting later in the afternoon. On the way, I realized that I was running on fumes and pulled into a gas station that Ive never been to before. I put in $10 as that was all I was carrying cash (hadnt bothered to bring my purse) and went into pay. The clerk was an older woman and as I handed her the money, she asked me how my arm was. A little stunned at her seemingly psychic ability, I stammered out that it was doing much better. The look of confusion crossing my face prompted her to elaborate. She explained that she had been in the emergency waiting room at the same time I was there, most of the whole 12 hours, and had been watching and listening to me. She told me that she admired the way I spoke to other people with respect and that I seemed joyful even though I was in pain. She told me that seeing that in me made it easier for her to be patient with her own pain and the long wait. It was as simple as that - no big dramatic intervention - just that my attitude influenced her attitude and in a good way. I didnt realize that my demeanor that day was anything special to anyone else. I didnt know I was being observed. And I certainly didnt know that I was having an impact on anyone or anything except the poor nurse who patiently kept nodding as I excused myself out for yet another cigarette (yes...quitting is still an elusive endeavour!!). As today has progressed, Ive been turning this little exchange with the clerk over and over in my mind - how incredible it is to realize that even in moments when we think we are anonymous silos in the midst of an indistinct crowd, we still have the power to inject an influence over another persons experience. I will be more alert and aware now. There is truly no such thing as having no footprint, no shadow. We are in this world at all times, exerting our character on it, creating ripples in world around us, just by the expressions on our faces. Every smile DOES count, and therefore, so does every frown. I resolve to be more cautious of the mark I leave in my wake, regardless of how softly I tread or how briefly I tread there.
Posted on: Sat, 19 Oct 2013 05:12:35 +0000
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