Journal Excerpt 4-22-14 I attained my GED while a teen inmate on Riker’s Island, which is also the place that I learned of writing and meditation as methods to reflect, gain wisdom and ease pain. My emotional needs and violent teenage outbursts robbed me of the opportunity to read the books that are required readings in High School. I am fortunate enough to have intelligent and well read friends making excellent reading suggestions to me. Still, I often feel inadequate when making comparisons to certain peers. On the other side of the coin are the absence of prejudice towards contentment and the organic (tried and true) wisdom of the pauper. True happiness is hard to come by in the circles of the elite, educated and successful. Having missed the conditioning of the standard American education, my mind has been left free to decide for itself what constitutes happiness. A friend once said school is meant to be studied like a spoiled rich kid. What would the world be like if people went to school to explore knowledge for the sake of it? My short attendance of college was very eventful. I enjoyed changing my major every semester. But, what seemed to torment me was the advice of teachers, advisors and other respected individuals. They all wanted to know “What are you going to do to make a living.” I was just trying to figure out how to live. Eventually, I decided that school is not meant to teach that. So I quit. Today, I explore the books and information that come my way with one single minded purpose. How do I find happiness? This always leads to the question: how do I become a better person? In a way, I have been studying myself. I’m trying to figure out the contents of my heart and happiness. I find spiritual schools to be better suited towards this purpose. We have to take risks in this life with whatever paths that we choose. I am training my mind to make logical and compassionate choices. The world is a crazy place; I can’t let myself be guided by crazy people (society) to find happiness. I must be courageous enough to define that for myself!
Posted on: Tue, 22 Apr 2014 22:19:10 +0000
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