Kimberly has an AMAZING story.. Imagine,sitting in a room by yourself with the person you hate the most. They hate you too.They say all sorts of horrible things to you, just to put you down. You’re disgusting, you’re ugly, you’re fat, you’re worthless, nobody loves you..Imagine, You’ll never escape that person, That person is you.You’ll always be together.You will never escape. No matter how much you hate each other. Welcome to my life. ^^^^^^^^That.That’s how I used to feel about myself.Starting an an early age, weight has always been an issue for me. At the age of 9 I started to gain weight like crazy. By the age of 10 I was so over weight for my age. I was molested by my moms boyfriend, as I’ve said in another note. He used to say those things to me, the ones that I put in bold. He told me that every time he woudl rape me. As I got older, my self esteem dwindled, I felt unworthy, not good enough, I was constantly depressed, and anti social. I ended up gaining more weight, and through school I was bullied day in and day out, making excuses to my mom why I didn’t want to go to school. I had to go to school EVERY DAY in fear of being made fun of. All the way up into high school I was bullied and made fun of. I didn’t have many friends. I was not just shy just afraid that someone would always find something wrong with me. Some reason to point out my flaws. I thought everyone was out to get me. Then I made a few friends, one being my best friend James Squires who I lost a few years ago in a motorcycle accident. I talked to him about everything. He knew me well. And he got me to talk to him about it. But I haven’t ever told anyone my story because I was ashamed of what I done, who I was, and the monster that was hiding inside of me. I thought that my weight issue had everything to do with anxiety, depression, all those things. But I found out that I had really bad thyroid problems, as does my great grandmaw, my mammaw and my mom. We all have it, so it was passed down to me. When I found that out, I knew it was going to be tough to lose weight. And its a daily struggle for me. The bullying finally starting to get to me, and I would stop eating, I ended up becoming Bulimic. Sometimes I wouldn’t eat, and then if I did, I would go to the bathroom right after and MAKE myself puke so I wouldn’t feel bad for eating. I didn’t think I would be the girl with the eating disorder. Every time that I ate a bite of food, I felt like a terrible person. I wanted to die. After many years of this, I had friends to turn to, I stopped making myself throw up at the age of 18. I knew that if I kept on doing it, I was going to hurt myself even more. And because I stopped myself, I gained more weight. I hated it, I hated myself. I hated looking in the mirror and seeing the fat. Seeing the overweightness. I didn’t want to go out, I wanted to always be alone. At the age of 19 I found this guy on Facebook. His name is Trent, you may know him by #REHABTIME. If you don’t here is the link; (https://facebook/photo.php?v=556754781070493&set=vb.234859083260066&type=2&theaterr) This is what made me look at my life just a little bit differently. He changed my life completely. And I can’t thank him enough for it. Before all I ever saw were my flaws. Which made me believe that that’s all I was made of. I suffered from Ateplphobia(the fear of not being good enough). My weight is STILL a constant struggle. I’ve went on many dates, and have some shitty luck with them, just get judged to much by my weight, and my body. People don’t take the time to get to know you, the want to judge a book soley by its cover, & because of that my confidence is still really low, I don’t have much self esteem, but I’m working on myself little by little. The perfect world has this idea that if you don’t look like an airbrushed perfect model.. you have to see past it. You look how you look, you have to be comfortable. What are you doing to do? Be hungry every single day to make other people happy? There are so many people, critics.. etc that judge people based on all the wrong values and that its okay to point at people and call them fat or ugly. They call it fun, and they say welcome to the real world. That shouldn’t be the real world. It’s going to continue being real if we keep it that way. We have to stop treating each other like that and stop calling others fat. There are realistic expectations for women, its disappointing that the media keeps it alive and fuels that fire. It’s someting really bothers me because I love to eat. Just don’t ever think that you aren’t good enough or that you are nothing. Somewhere along the line, there is going to be someone who thinks you are everything. Just remember that you are perfectly perfect just the way you are, and no matter what you are going through, things will get better! I promise. That being said; is fat really the worst thing a human being can be? Is fat worse than being vindictive, leaous, shallow, vain, boring or cruel? Not to me. I want to tell all the BEAUTIFUL ladies out there not to ever be ashamed of what they look like or who they are. You will always be perfect to the person who is meant to love you. How beautiful, wonderful, and brave can this woman be??
Posted on: Wed, 16 Jul 2014 07:00:01 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015