Life is full of struggles. Lets face it, we all experience them. The struggles that we experience in our day-to-day lives helps us to make decisions, which dictate our future in either a negative or positive manner. Well it definitely has been a week of struggling for me on many levels. When I accepted Erics challenge I thought it would be easy to temporarily give up my presence on social media. Well as each week goes by I am finding more and more difficult to not comment, like, or post. I feel cut-off from everyone. Does this mean that I am giving up? Hell no! When I make a commitment I keep my word. I am in this for the long haul and even though I feel anxious about it I do realize that the rewards that I will experience will be tenfold. This week I struggled with many things. One being not losing any weight this week. I did everything I was supposed to do, maybe too much. What do I mean by too much? I was not eating enough, my body was healing from some trauma, drinking 6 cups of green tea a day, 200 oz of water daily, drinking protein shakes, and taking supplements. I thought I was doing everything I should have been but my body just wasnt cooperating. I just wanted to cry. I had worked my ass off all week and told Eric that I wanted to give up. Giving up would mean that I wouldnt have to face my fears and would keep me in my comfort zone but it also meant not accomplishing the goals I have set for myself. Having a heart-to-heart with Eric helped me realize that I was addicted to supplements and other weight loss gimmicks. I cannot tell you how much money I have spent over the years in my quest to lose weight and I realize that it is only hindering my progress. I am tired of wasting money and want to show others who may be struggling as well that weight loss can be accomplished through healthy eating and exercise, no gimmicks. In addition to my struggle with my weight loss progress I am also experiencing emotional conflict in regard to doing the right thing dealing with a family member. I consider myself a fairly open minded woman that always takes into consideration others feeling and circumstances in order to come to a reasonable and fair agreement. Lately though I feel like that no matter what decisions I make Im a horrible person because I am looking toward the future, my future, and cannot help those who do not wish to help themselves. There is a fine line between being selfless and selfish and I am finding it very hard to be selfish for me and the future I envision for myself. I do want to continue to be supportive as that is something that comes naturally for me, but yet I do not want to become an enabler where it limits anothers ability to reach his/her full potential. Normally these types of struggles would derail my progress. I would easily slip back into old habits and think of every excuse possible to justify my actions. I do have to admit this week I so wanted to f*** everything up for myself. Why? Because I felt sorry for myself but instead I chose to keep committed. I have reached that turning point in my life, that I am sure that everyone has experienced, where you realize your self-worth and that theres a bigger purpose for your life than you might even realize. I dont know what the future holds for me but what I do know is that I am more prepared than ever for the journey.
Posted on: Sun, 30 Mar 2014 23:18:50 +0000
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