March 26, 2014 Words cannot describe how I feel at this moment. Physically, my heart hurts. I truly know now what it feels like to have a broken heart. Emotionally, I’ve been through many stages: confusion, fear, depression, back to confusion, etc. But I thank God for His Word that is hidden in my heart for such a time as this. I thank God that He allowed me to meet a man of God. I thank God that He used my pastor to reach me. I remember the first time I ever watched Jehovah Shammah on tv. I was living In a small room with my 2 daughters. I saw an episode and was immediately drawn to it. I didn’t know what religion this was but I did know that this man spoke about God like no one else I had ever heard. That he knew God and he knew God’s heart. I knew that there was something or someone that he knew that I wanted to know too. I watched the program on a second occasion and I remember my pastor saying “Yo Soy Barak!” It means, “I am a Blessing!” I found myself saying it too there in this small room. I found myself believing that I too was a blessing. I called that same day and ended up visiting my church, my home, my refuge. The minute I walked in, I saw my pastor sitting on the left front corner with about 4 other guys. They were wearing jeans and Tims and here I came in with a long skirt because I thought maybe the church didn’t allow pants or something. Anyway, my pastor called me over and said, “Hello daughter, how can I help you?” DAUGHTER- THIS IS THE ONLY NAME I HAVE HEARD FROM HIS MOUTH IN ALMOST 8 YEARS. “HIJA”. And I was and still am. He was my father. Many times I slipped and called him Papi. He was and will always be my spiritual dad. The man that never judged me. The man that taught me a father’s love. The man that taught me that My God is Greater than All things! The man that scolded me and told me when I was wrong to my face and then gave me a father’s advice. The man who taught me to rely on God and God alone. The man that I love like a father. The man that loved me like his daughter. The man that taught me that nothing in life is more important than the presence of God. I remember the last time that I spoke to him. I was able to say good bye and I thank God for that so much. I was able to lay my head on his shoulder and tell him, “I love you pastor.” He took my hand and said, “Hija you left a great atmosphere. Good job!” He believed in me and pushed me. I cry and mourn because I’m human. I cry and mourn because I know that he was a Great Man of God. But I rejoice because I know how much he loved the presence of God. I know that when he saw that face to face and when he saw how beautiful it is that he chose to dwell there for all eternity. I know that as soon as he entered, there were 2 ushers waiting for him welcoming him home. I know that he is partying right now. He is in a better place and I can’t be selfish. Lord, I thank you for your peace, you strength, you unconditional love at this moment! I thank you for the ministering angels that surround Shammah. I ask you for wisdom and understanding for us. Holy Spirit guide us and help us continue the Vision that you placed in us. We will see it. Mazel tov! Lord, thank you because I was able to be under the Apostle Jose Carlos Ortiz and I know that he lives in us. I know the through meaning of living eternally now! I don’t say goodbye. I say see you later my pastor. From tu hija, Brenda
Posted on: Wed, 26 Mar 2014 21:37:48 +0000
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