Mothers day. There should be 364 more of them. My mother has been such an incredibly positive presence in my life. She has shown me, rather than told me, how to be a decent, empathic human being. She has been such a loving force behind everything I have ever succeeded and failed at. Shes not overly sentimental or protective. When she did let me fail-it must have been harder on her than it was me as I look back upon the things I put her through. I was an idiot over a period of many years...I truly was. Some people say they have no regrets..well, that isnt me. I have many. My mother has been a perfect balance of reward and punishment. She always told me that I punished myself far more than she ever did, and that was -and is- certainly true. More often than not, she didnt scold me at all..shed just have to look at me and I knew how far away from being my true self I really was. I hated letting her down. She was the first person to ever tell me that I needed to learn to be kind to myself. She was determined to make me self sufficient at a very early age. She worked full time when my brothers and I were quite young so making meals and doing house hold chores were something that was a must. I appreciate that so much now. As much as I HATED helping around the house, I am so glad that she had the back bone to demand things from us. She expected us to show up for our own lives and do good things. She was my mother and my mentor, NOT my friend. Friendship would come later when I was old enough to appreciate what a friend truly was. My mom forges on through whatever life puts in her path. I have never heard her complain about anything, and I am not exaggerating. She doesnt complain. I have never heard her speak ill of another human being either, except for maybe my dad and he was very deserving of her wrath. I am in awe of her fortitude and steadfastness. Shes fair and good and she can laugh at the worst of times. She has laughed us all through so much grief and loss. To say I am grateful for her love and her presence on this planet, would truly be an understatement indeed.
Posted on: Sun, 11 May 2014 19:45:08 +0000
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