Nobody is perfect in present or past. I am finding that I am not only less-perfect as the years go on. I am less able. I am less able to run, to sing, or to remember. Am I less than I used to be or simply less-able? Is my value less as my potential decreases? Am I now an object of ridicule where once I was praised by my parents, my friends, or my children? As my abilities decrease, I find that the patience of my loved ones shrinks accordingly. I am confused and they are frustrated by me. I forget and somehow they act as though it is my fault. Why do I write this? Because declining loved ones of mine are bringing me frustration as I seek to care for them. It sometimes seems as though they do it on purpose and become arrogant in insisting that they know what they are doing. They do not know what they are doing. They would do anything to stop this process. I am scolding myself as I step back and look at their situation and my impatience. They frustrate and irritate me. They are inconvenient. How many years was I inconvenient for them? How many messy diapers? How many broken curfews and how many times did I take them for granted? How many times was I arrogant and rebellious by choice? Now I look at their lives and they really have no choice. Are they worth the inconvenience? Sometimes I have thought “no”, but now I have stopped and can see more clearly. They have no choice but to forget, to be helpless… but I have a choice of how to respond. Then my attention turns to Jesus and how inconvenient and exasperating I must have been to Him all of these years. All the bad choices I’ve made and the bad responses to His invitations and leading in my life. Is it possible that I can be like Jesus as I look at the lives of my declining, less-able loved ones? I don’t think the question merits any answer except to say that “I must be more like Jesus.” I must be aware of the fear they are experiencing as they decline in mind and body. I must remember that my day is coming and the example I set to my friends, my children, and this world will influence how that they will treat me as I become less able and less able and less able until I move into Jesus’ presence and am never helpless or fearful again.
Posted on: Sat, 03 Jan 2015 23:29:35 +0000
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