Oft times I find some humor in almost all situations. Lately I havnt been inspired, perhaps because Im not feeling top notch. So in an attempt to prime the funny side of my brain I will share the following with you. Several years ago, I went to visit a childhood friend, who lived in West Texas. I arrived early afternoon, and due to the extreme heat we chose to sit at the kitchen table to enjoy a tall glass of sweet tea. The conversation drifted from good times to an occasional shed tear or so while reminiscing of old friends who had passed on to glory. After a while we hear what sounds like a pick up truck with a flat tire, coming down the hall. After a few minutes the noise stopped, and I directed my attention to the door way. I could not believe it, a humongous PIG, yes, like HOG, was just standing there, half smiling and wagging its tail like a kite in a hurricane. My friend said, that theres Clyde, been part of the family bout three years now. He has a king size bed in the front bed room. Spends most of the time in there. Yep, bought him a 60 inch LG TV for his birthday. His favorite shows is on the Rural Channel. Had to put the mattress on the floor, he kept busting the bed frames, hes weighing in around 600 lbs. now. Next thing I know, ole Clyde done hobbled over, sat down next to Billy Bob and put his head in Billys lap. Billy Bob began to scratch Clydes head, and said he also likes to shower with us. So I says yeah I understand a person getting attached to an animal. I had a pet cock roach, named her Ronda Roach. She kept my garbage can licked clean. Every time she heard the back door open she would get all excited, run up and jump on the toe of my shoe, and turn over on her back so I could rub her belly. I liked her so much I had her tubes tied. Then one day she didnt run out to greet me. Willie Worm told me Sammie the spider invited her over for supper. She was so gullible. When I found her she was just an empty shell of her former self. So, I wrapped her in a lettuce leaf, and tied it with a piece of spaghetti and buried her next to the garbage can. I think she had a lot of friends, cause a lot of ants showed up to pay her homage. Then I told him, I understand you treating him kindly, but a Pig in the house? Maybe a special pen out side. So, Billy Bob says, lookie here Jim, Im gonna tell you about Clyde. About 3 year ago, we was all sleeping upstairs. Me the ole lady and all four young uns. Bout 3 in the morning old Clyde busted through the front door, ran up the stairs and woke me. The house was on fire. All six of us escaped, cause of ole Clyde. I told him No matter, that pig shouldnt stay in the house. He said a nother thing happened a year later. We was going to the lake for the weekend, and brought ole Clyde with us. We was driving along I-35, when this here girl was texting, and ran us off the road. Well,we landed upside down in a big ditch, all us trapped in the Van. Ole Clyde stuck his head out a broken window and managed to root around in the dirt, freed himself, then flipped the Van upright. We all escaped, ole Clyde was a Hero one mo time. I had to agree, Clyde is a special Pig. I was still a little curious, so I ask Billy Bob what happened to Clydes right hind leg. He looked at me like I was crazy. And said..........well we aint going to eat all of him at one time.
Posted on: Tue, 11 Mar 2014 01:55:01 +0000