Oh my goodness what a wonderful gift Emily has just given me. While the nurses were turning her she began to awaken a bit and started opening her eyes. So I stood right there by her and began talking to her. I said Its mommy, do you know that I am here? and she squeezed my hand. Then I asked her to squeeze her hand for Dad and she did. I asked her to blink her eyes and she did. She kept her eyes open for quite a while focused in my direction. I said Emily if you can see me squeeze my fingers, and she did. Then her nurse asked her if she wanted some music on and she shrugged her shoulders. So I then asked if she would like Away in a Manger on - the song she ALWAYS has on on loop at home, and she nodded her head yes. She kept her eyes open for the duration of all of this, but then she started getting agitated as it seemed like she was trying to communicate with me but couldnt, so I sang her back to sleep with a lullaby and got her settled again. It was such an intimate and special moment between us, yet distressing at the same time as I could feel her distress trying to reach out to me. I have been warned that this is going to be a traumatic experience for me to go through, witnessing her heightened levels of awareness, and the staff are right about that - it is. But if my little Emily can be so strong through all of this then so must I.
Posted on: Tue, 02 Sep 2014 17:15:58 +0000
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