POLICE AND HUMBLE PIE Mukama, wulira okubona bona kwaffe, olwekisakyo ompe kye nkusaba - hold us! Dear Lord, listen to our suffering, for your mercy, hold us tight. Uncle Dezi, munange you would enjoy this one. Today, deep in my sorrow, had to continue with work because the bazungu dont click these things. Munange I was on the road going to the bank to sort out Nsambya babies home issues (we still havent collected the water money), and when I reached the garden city round about, there was so much traffic, kati deep in my thoughts i forgot all about fuelling my car and lo and behold, emotoka ne sika!!!! (I run out of fuel) right at the round about in the the middle of Jenifer Musisis plants. So I said okay ...... hati i called the ka policeman who was there directing traffic and he had the nerve to say to me ..... lets push!! kati this intersection is where all the bankers, lawyers, parliamenterians all converge on the way to their various pubs, nemugamba NYOWE PRINCESS PATRA!! MUHARA WA KIRABOKYAMARIA, YOLANDA QUEEN, BLUE VELVET POWDER, OMG YOU... UH... MUST UH... BE ...UH... JOKING!!!!! ME PUSH THE CAR????????? STYLE UP!! So the ka man in his all faded uniform and boots like they looked like they germinate dry beans looked at and me and said.... Policeman: You cant push the car namugamba nyowe the next LUPITA Nyongo manya Nyendo whatever... GET A LIFE!! COMPLETE WITH THE WHARREVER SIGN!!! So he left me there in my car, I listened to the radio, POPO POLOKOTO PAPILIWA PAPA PAPA even jiggling feet on steering wheel, adjusted my bra, I applied some rosy lipstick, painted my face, did United Colours of Benetton proud with all the colours then I remembered .....MY BATTERY!!!!! HO when i tried to start it, the bloody thing was dead!!! So now I had no fuel, no battery then I said Lord why dont you take out a tyre as well!!! Meanwhile I am sitting pretty (to be discussed) for 45 minutes trying to look sophisticated waving at government cars I dont know including ambulances..... so after a while, I called the police officer and whispered in his ear .... ok let me push, naye hide my face..... The guy lauuuuuuuuuuuughed till the cows came home because I had egg on my face, humble pie in my mouth and I was responsible for ALLLLL THE TRAFFIC on that route (sorry guys)... so with all my diggy (dignity) and nothing more to lose, we pushed the car and made it to the corner where a boda boda guy had the nerver to tell me .... NAYE MADAM TOLI SERIOUS!!! ^%^&$#@!!!! I wish I could smack his fwacce. naye to cut a long story short ... after the trip to the bank, and partial funds to the babies home received, I paid them off and now after sooooo many hours I am back home contemplating a journey to the village. Uncle, i will not lay you to rest because you are a part of me, I will just say .... fare thee well. I love you and put in a good word for me for all the little I have done. ps: banange how do you wash off this mess on my face???? its even itching!!!
Posted on: Tue, 01 Apr 2014 22:57:32 +0000
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