People who have been online friends since the days when many of us blogged on VOX know that sometimes my advice comes from having screwed up the very thing about which Im handing out said advice like gummy bears. Its advice from experience---- BAD experience. Learning from my mistakes hopefully benefits someone who reads about how I messed up, and at least thats something good that may come out of it, but boy---do I wish sometimes that there were other ways for me to learn. HERES MY LESSON FOR THE DAY: If you have an argument with your significant other, please keep it between the two of you. Unless youve somehow got entangled with someone who is mentally or physically harmful to you, (and some of us have been there), airing your grievance to anyone besides that person can come back and bite you hard. If you feel you absolutely must vent or rant, do it with only the most trusted person in your life (besides your S.O., that is) someone who has proven herself trustworthy and who has also trusted you with her own very personal hurts. Why? A year ago at least, I had an argument with my spouse (whom I adore, and those who know me well know this) and it was a doozy. I let this get out and one specific person has used this incident to tell anyone who will listen: Theyre not happily married, you know. What this persons agenda is I havent quite figured out (yet) but one thing shes accomplished is making me want to cut out my tongue. Im also furious with her and for reasons I cant reveal without giving too much away, shes a stuck fixture in my life. I have to deal with her and deal with her well. The last few times Ive had to see her or speak to her, Ive done so with my teeth gritted the entire time. Comfortable much? No, because Im now in the position of having to defend a relationship which is really quite wonderful and which I wouldnt leave if you paid me, and try to do it without making a wider and deeper mess. And whos fault is that? When it comes down to it, its MY fault. I caused it because I didnt keep my big mouth shut. So, watch what you say out loud about your personal relationships. Watch what you say about your spouse, your S.O., your children, your boss, your job, your colleagues, your close friend, your parents, your in-laws, your mom, your neighbour, even your dog. Because if someone you trusted shouldnt have been trusted, what you said is what YOU said, and it can be used against you. And, believe me, the consequences of that far outweigh the crime.
Posted on: Wed, 06 Aug 2014 15:57:03 +0000