Seven years ago today My Dad died. That would have been the end of his story…except that almost four years before his death – and only by God’s unrelenting love – My Dad finally let God hold him – save him, rescue him, make him new! In thanksgiving to God for His love and mercy for all of us – that are beyond my comprehension – I am posting an excerpt from “Convinced!” of that October day in 2002 when my Dad’s eternal life began in Jesus! “Dad, I want to know. Are you ready to let Jesus be your Savior? Are you ready to let God hold you in His love, hold you in His forgiveness and hold you there for all eternity?” “Well, Laney...” Dad went on for a bit, talkin’ quietly, but not answering the question. He couldn’t really look at me. Dad was moving his hands on top of the table – with his fingertips doing a kind of dance on the table’s surface. He wuz talkin’ ‘bout other family members who had accepted Jesus as their Savior – Aunt Betty, his sister...Uncle H.C., his brother...Mom before she died...Dorothy...one of Dad’s nephews...even Myrtle...and his step-daddy, Daddy Lee. “Yep. They all believed in Jesus as their Savior. They all let God hold them.” My heart was aching so badly for Dad. I wanted so much for him. God wanted even more. “Dad, please, please stop dancing around this. I love you so much. I want you to let God hold you. I want you to let Jesus come in to be your Savior.” “Laney, I’m not dancin’ ‘round this.” Dad was still so calm, so quiet. Not agitated at all. He had no strength left in him either. “Laney, I’ll tell ya, when I wuz ‘bout eighteen years old, I did know that Jesus wuz the Savior. I did. But, I did not let Him hold me then.” Dad looked so sad. So tired. Dad’s moving hands and dancing fingers, with the now long, gray (instead of black) hair on them, just stopped. Dad rested his hands on the tabletop, palms down, making his missing trigger-finger on his right hand seem even more obviously absent than ever. “Dad, God is ready to hold you now.” Dad lifted his head and looked right at me as I continued speaking. “You just need to believe what Jesus has already done for you. He died for you, Dad. He died for me. He died to forgive us and give us the salvation and the eternal life that only comes through Him. We both need Jesus, Dad. God wants to hold you so much. He loves you so much, Dad. Are you ready to let God hold you now?” Dad pushed back just a little bit away from the kitchen table and rested his elbows on his wheelchair’s arm pads. Dad folded his hands together in front of his chest. Those hands – that were so very scarred up from the ravages of so many more years of cutting and banging and hitting and falling...those hands that were gnarled and twisted with ar-ther-it-is and deeply yellowed at his nails from years of smokin’ and drinkin’...those hands that had caused me and My Mom and My Big Sister and My Oldest Brother and My Big Brother and My Little Brother so very much pain... so very much shame...so very much fear...those hands that had ripped and torn away from me all of my little girl innocence and all of my twirling around joy – those hands were now quietly folded together in front of Dad’s chest. “Yes, Laney. I’m ready to let God hold me now.” I dropped to one knee in front of Dad. And I put my hands over his hands that were still folded together in front of his chest, and we prayed. And Dad let Jesus hold him as his Savior. I was overwhelmed with thankfulness...washed with a deep and quiet and indomitable thankfulness...that took my breath away...and gave it back again. God had rescued and saved my Dad, right then and there. The evil, ugly, sin-wielding, destructive powers of hell had been broken off from Dad and completely crushed as Dad let Jesus hold him, right then and there, as Dad sat in his wheelchair with his hands folded in front of his chest. Still holding those hands of Dad’s, and with a few tears falling down my face, I kissed Dad’s face. And I whispered in his ear, “Dad, I love you. And, now, I know that God has answered my prayer so that we will never be eternally separated.” Dad remembered the letter that I had written almost thirty years earlier. “No, Laney, we won’t be eternally separated. An’, Laney, I wants you to know, if only I had let God hold me when I wuz a younger man, I never would’uv done the things to y’all that I done.” Oh-my-goodness. Oh, my Holy Lord. I wasn’t looking for that. I had already forgiven Dad years ago. But the Spirit of God had convicted Dad of his sins, moved Dad to this confession and freed Dad from the condemnation he deserved because of his sins...all at the same time. Our God’s love is merciful, powerful and transforming beyond my comprehension. And I am convinced that God’s love changes everything. And makes everything new. I looked into Dad’s eyes, and God gave me a sweet and precious gift – a gift of assurance and love from the very heart of God. As I looked into my Dad’s eyes, they changed. Dad’s eyes changed from the blood-shot, yellow-tinged, angry, evil, self-pitying, cold, hard, steely-blue eyes that I had seen almost every time I had looked into them... to the clearest, most beautiful of bright, light blue eyes, shining with the innocence...and filled with the love that Jesus had just poured into Dad. And for a few moments, Jesus let me see this tangible, physical evidence – in my Dad’s now beautiful, baby-blue eyes – of the purifying, transforming work that Jesus had done in my Dad’s soul...for all eternity. And I sensed my Sovereign God, my Holy Lord Jesus, saying: "Behold, I am making all things new..." - Revelation 21:5 As I stood back on my feet, I gave Dad another kiss on his face and squeezed his still folded hands, one more time, and said, “Happy Birthday, Dad. Happy Birthday and Welcome Home.” A second excerpt: After Thoughts - “He who has ears, let him hear...” – Matthew 11:15 Early morning on July 12, 2006, I got a call from Dad’s friend and neighbor Claude. “Sylane, I am so sorry to tell you this, sweetheart, but your Dad is dead. There was a fire in his house. There’s all sorts of policemen and firemen and investigators over at his house to find out what exactly happened. Sweetheart, I’m so sorry to have to tell you about your Dad. But I’m so glad I had your number in my mobile phone. I don’t know how long it will be before they know exactly how your Dad died.” It really doesn’t matter. Dad was dead. Dead to this earth forever. But because Dad had finally let God hold him, Dad was now welcomed into the eternal, unfailing, inseparable embrace of the love of his Lord Jesus Christ. I am convinced of it. And I am convinced that our Mighty God, our Savior Jesus Christ, wants you to be held by His unfailing, inseparable, eternal embrace of love. Jesus poured out His life on the cross for the forgiveness of our sins. And Jesus conquered the power of sin and death through His resurrection. He who has ears, let him hear...and believe...and live in the saving grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. And I am convinced that God’s eternal, unfailing, inseparable love is more than able to heal, transform and break off every chain and every bondage of all your pain and shame so that you, too, may live in the power of the grace, truth and freedom of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who has ears, let him hear...and believe...and receive this passionately transforming, twirling-you-around love from our Mighty God that changes everything. Our hearts. Our heads. Our perspectives. Our lives. Jesus did this for me. And God doesn’t change. He can do the same for you. Of this, I am Convinced!
Posted on: Fri, 12 Jul 2013 18:03:07 +0000
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