So I go to the bank, no, Im fibbing, I was called by the queen to take HER to the bank to cash in her ever growing coin collection, wait, let me start again.......2 years after parking ny moms truck, my nephew Mike Smith and I had the daunting task of cleaning out her vehicle. I learned a lot about my mom during this said adventure, three things I will mention. She seems to like to collect change, childrens hats and glove sets, and funnels. Yes, funnels....I found at least 15 funnels in her truck, but let me continue, I also found 20 purses, pouches and make up cases filled with various coins. I dont say anything, just pack em all into to one jumbo purse and present them to her. Well, she calls me this morning, Cheryl, I need you to take me to the bank, I ask her if she needs cash, she says no, I just need to take care of something, get dressed, I need you to be here in 20 minutes. Im sick as a barn yard animal, but I get up and go get her. Mind you, Im not dressed to be out long, I have on the wrong everything, wrong hat, wrong boots, wrong sweater, wrong jacket and wrong frame of reference. When I walk in the door, shes super chiper, like she had 2 Pepsis back to back and shes like grab that purse right there. Now, yall know I dont carry purses unless its an emergency, and this one is not only super big, but it felt like she had packed 2 old fashioned house radiators into the pocketbook before I got there. I ask her mom, whats in here, to which she replies, oh, just some change I wanna cash in. I ask if we can just dump all 20 purses into one, but no, she doesnt like that, so off we go to the coin counter and changer. After dumping the money in the tray, picking out the halls, lifesavers, peppermint balls, and various other vitamins, rubber bands, and other goop outta the change purses, I am trying not to loose my cool following the automated voice I will call Julie give me instructions on how to work the change machine. After a successful dump and change to money session, I end up with about 10 gold dollars, and 10.00 worth of rolled coins to which I take to the teller figuring she would just take the rolled coins and give me a 10, now, what would make me think that banks still take rolled coins, too much like banking I guess. So she sends me back to the coin counter to break open the rolls and have the coins counted by the machine, to get another receipt to take back to the counter to have her give me cash. Well by now, Im boiling. I have on 3 layers of hot stuff, its 86 degrees outside and 102 degrees in the bank, Ive had 3 hot flashes back to back, and I gotta go back and play with auto Julie just to get a receipt. Ok, I do it. Now, Ive gotta wait back in line, 14 new customers, the weekend crew is on duty and Im melting. When its finally my turn, she takes the receipt, sees its 10 dollars, the same 10 dollars marked on the rolled dimes (5x2 is 10), and she has the audacity, and mitigating gall to ask me, How would you like that miss?, how would I like what? 10 dollars?????? 10 dollars???????? 10 dollars???????? I want it in HUNDREDS............oh my goodness, I have to lay down now. I just popped my top, blood pressure 40,000 over 6 billion. How would I like a 10? And folks wonder why I stay in the house under the covers.....i just cant with people anymore. How would I like a 10? In my mind, I jumped over the counter, and choked her out. In reality, I take Thel to Dunkin donughts, as I watch her hold court, as if nothing even happened, and in walks the lady with the new cell phone charger with God knows what on the screen, wanting to borrow a tissue into which she spits on to wash the screen, then thinks oh, no, I will pour a cup of water on it to wash it, and now shes wondering why the screen wont light up...........Calgon, please take me awaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted on: Sat, 27 Dec 2014 20:32:57 +0000