So here I am, lying in bed on my phone, when suddenly it slips through my hand.. Not on my face, but past my cheek, over my shoulder and bounces of the pillow, down the crack between the bed head and the mattress... I immediately squeeze my hand, wrist, forearm all down there in a desperate plea for forgiveness.. Why me.. Why now.. Why did you have to go half way across underneath the bed.. As I try and try, I struggle, desperately crying out for help to mum.. I hear nothing.. I realize Im alone, scared that I will never be able to reach the peak of my Facebook addiction.. I pull out.. As I lay on my back, staring at the ceiling, my mind ponders.. I knew I shouldnt have stalked Instagram, I should have just left snapchat alone, but there were just too many 169 second stories of singing in the car, or nightclubbing on a Monday, I just needed to get rid of those notifications.. Life becomes difficult.. 3 minutes without my phone and I crack.. I actually get out of bed.. Its cold.. Realllll cold.. I rush to pick the mattress up.. Doesnt work (Dont ask, it just doesnt), time to move the bed.. Its been sitting there for 10 months.. Its feet sit deep, real deep into the soft luscious carpet.. It doesnt slide.. I try harder.. The bed head slowly falls away.. Shit, I have caused a disaster.. As I push the bed slowly back up against the wall trying to avoid it falling apart, I hear a notification come through.. I panic.. What am I missing.. I need a new plan.. I go into my wardrobe and grab a coat hanger.. Its bent into a perfect hook shape.. I start sliding I up and down the side of my bed.. It grabs! But something is not right.. The size, weight, rubber buttons? What treasure have I found!. After perfect concentration and multiple carpet burns I pull out the mystery from underneath my unimaginably difficult to get anything from under bed.. My heart sinks.. Its the tv remote.. How this got under there I shall never know.. I sit.. In silence.. Given up.. No water.. No food.. No hope.. No phone.. I turn the lights off.. I stand there.. Worried.. My head is spinning faster than a brand new washing machine with nothing in it.. And all of a sudden.. It makes a noise.. I open my eyes.. Wait a minute.. What the hell.. It cant be.. Is it instagram? Is it a snapchat? Is it Facebook?. No.. Its a miracle.. Its words with friends.. When was the last time you played words with ... my savior.. My phone has managed to fall past my face, over my shoulder bounce off one pillow INTO another pillow case, in the meantime knocking the remote into the gap which lead to the thump, which lead to me believing it was under the bed, which lead to depression and hunger, which eventually lead to carpet burns, which turned out to be a disaster but then tuned into a miracle.. Ahhh What an eventful evening it has been.. Im glad you took the time to read possibly the most pointless status you have ever seen.. Im just glad its over.. We are united.. As one.. A couple.. I love you phone.. Never ruin my life for 15 minutes ever again.. #Traumatized
Posted on: Mon, 25 Aug 2014 13:00:24 +0000
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