Some days it hits me like a ton of bricks and my heart shatters all over again, its hard to believe that my Big Sister Lucy was taken 10 years ago. Sometimes anger and hate sneaks into my heart and mind along with the pain that I know I will always live with, but the anger and hate is something that I dont always have to feel and letting it go will ease the pain I know.... Knowing that I got to see her live, know her laughter, feel joy simply from her smile and feel the love behind every song she sang gives me peace. I got to be a part of her life and the one who took her life only got to be a part of her death. I never looked at it that way till recently, but all of a sudden I found myself crying not for my pain, my loss or heart ache, but I was crying for him. He never got to experience the joy and happiness she brought to all, he didnt know she was only 18 years old, months from getting married, months from going back to School, that she was a big sister, a daughter, an aunt, a niece, a cousin and a friend to so many. All he knows is that he took her life away, I feel sorrow for him and I cant imagine the struggle and facts he lives with every day. I get to live with the good memories of her, he has only 1 memory of her and its not a pretty one. All of a sudden letting go of all that anger and hate doesnt seem so hard anymore, its been replaced with pity for him, pity that he will never know what he took away.....
Posted on: Tue, 06 Jan 2015 19:05:52 +0000
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