Some of the past projects done have been very tongue in cheek and not ever personally serious. Projects that themselves centralised to explode issues of contemporary debate and indeed to combine extremity to raise awareness of ethical implications. However, I have realised this much in professional creative practice unless someone knows of the art at the moment it was done or has access to the background information, then they will assume and wrongly another way the art may infer something else. Yet, it is to using the cultural or dialogue mechanisms that are to the blurring of lines I think maybe reasons to research and develop art on such subjects at times that maybe deemed controversial. All is not necessarily what it seems and that is half the problem and pretty much to why things become confused as well in life. I think it is the act of seeing. I mean actually opening ones eyes and seeing the undeniable. I think this inclination in myself is why I have in my art practice incorporated such extreme approaches to present what we do not necessarily what to confront at times and would prefer to act on our assumptions. It is the same of erroneous beliefs that someone who measures another by the art is more a reflection of their own sense of being. Indeed, this can be construed either way by the response of an individual. Whether someone chose for condemnation and to align the art direct with artist and as one, when in reality art is no more than a cultural critique and out put and not of literalism to the private life of the artist. Indeed, to the other extremity where such assumptions that another could derive from the art by their own wanting and subjectivities to that of their inner penchants. I will thus pose two examples to art I have done and two very opposing views and response. To imbue the embodiment of Christ I had a young man come up to me afterwards and upset: “How dare you portray the man who died on the cross for us?” I did not tell him and nor was it any of his concern that I have my belief, but the art was merely to address certain themes in contemporary society of gender and body politics in philosophical and visual dialogue and the ideological models and canons that have set before us to shape our perspectives on these subjects. My reply to him and it was not one to offend his beliefs nor sensitivities, because I was and am of the same faith. Still that I kept to myself and was not relative to the work at hand, but indeed as a contemporary artist to endeavour to imbue some objectivity against the framework of the themes I had researched. “I am a product a man and woman who have equally inspired me to make me the person I am, genetically by procreation, conception and birth and to nurtured me therein with the masculine and feminine. If I were a man it would seem more accepting simply by my corporeal to that of the guise of crucifixion and if that be the case, then you would assume I should for arts sake confine myself to representation of the female form. Either of Virgin Mary, pure and chaste or the parody of the eternal whore, Magdalene. Such generic classification and simply dictated on that basis of our genders is to deny the complexities of humanity itself and reduce me to no more than mortal flesh and nothing else but that.” Then to the opposite reaction from another performance where I was Bouddicia (and part of title “... PMT in the 21st century”). I had another man come up post performance: “You must be liberated to do all that conceptual stuff and confident in your body. Do you get turned on!?” If I could have raised my eyebrows any higher at his comment I would have looked bald and my hair pushed that far back. I was not amused. “No. When performing my mind is set on the sequence I am doing and that subject … You horrible man … What you infer is as far from my thoughts as could ever be! You are creepy! Now go away! Yuk! You vile creature” Truth about performances and post them. I usually disappear after them. I am tired and usually have one thought on my mind. Home and slippers to unpack and unwind and at most collate review notes and assess the work and file away to my project notes. I have very rarely remained behind for after show parties and the few I have not inclined to. I find the atmospheres vacuous and most just talk about themselves and similar. It is fine if people want to do that. Their business, but I have for 99 per cent of the time done a Cinderella or Houdini and when concluded packed up and disappeared and gone quicker than any one has realised. The only time when truly happy in life. When I have been with my family. It is there I have been myself in complete essence. They have seen me at my best and worst in life. Sadness and utmost happiness. Maybe, if I am honest with myself the arts were not ever meant for me. I am not of that make up. My private life is very different to what others assume against my professional art practice. I have found myself within circles and all shouting vying for attention and I have stood and remained quiet to most of it and more observing all about. I have realised how much many assume to fame and money and I have not. Indeed, within those environment such was readily available if deals struck, but always I would not be accepting. Not on the terms of some to the art scene and elite believed. In my life to one side was the arts.. To the other was my family and in truth I did purposely to the most kept the two divided. The one that I was more secretive and protective of. My family. That was my one domain. My place. Them. Mine. That I would only permit the few. I was dating one man for a year and a half and I did not do it consciously, but came to realise in myself I did not consider him good enough to meet my family. That makes me sound terrible. It does and I have to concede that. Well, truth is, he was not. As said, it was not premeditated and I would not want to hurt anyones feelings knowingly. Still my family is my family and that one things that is to me a space that is my privilege. There is no amount of money nor fame in anything that compares to my bonds with my family. There is no price and they are priceless to me. I have been like that for more than 20 years. Some may judge me on it, but they are not my keeper and indeed NO man has ever kept me and I would not have it anyway. I am not beholden to any man and life has taught me not to rest my laurels on assumptions of such. I am my own person and dealt with my life and my responsibilities alone and I am middle aged now and do not know anything else these days. It is what I am now accustomed to. To find out in May 2012 the Illuminati have interfered in my life since born I have had one protection and that has always been my family. The Illuminati to any trauma they have caused me n life has always been by external and corrupt means. When they tortured me and demanded I accept a deal and join them the answer was continually a defiant no. The other demand that I had to relinquish my family and choose them. Well, that was a complete none starter and for any to even pose such a question to me I consider an insult. My family are MINE and I theirs and that has always been my place of safety when and if I have needed it. I do not take it for granted and I am very independent and stood on my own two feet in life and do so. Still that is my place and as close to heaven on Earth I consider it. My bonds with my family and our love for each other. I am not perfect and certainly any that trespass that one area I would rip them in two. It is no more than a normal family home and life with all the conventionality and silly antics like any other family, but still it is my family. I could not care less making a name in the arts or not. That did not ever interest me anyway. Art, history, politics, philosophy, literature, etc., are subjects that have been of personal interest and in my life to pursue some attributes professionally. No other reason.
Posted on: Mon, 04 Aug 2014 01:14:06 +0000
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