Son: Dad, were learning about prisms at school. Theyre fascinating. Dad: Thats good son, because as a dyslexic black boy, youre bound to end up in one!. Paddy decides to take up boxing and goes for the required medical. A few days later the doctor phones and says Paddy, you realise youve got sugar diabetes. Paddy says, Nice one, when do I fight him? It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Cokey. But Ive turned myself around and thats what its all about. A Muslim bloke I work with was bragging he had the entire Koran on DVD. Being interested, I asked him to burn me a copy. Well, thats when it all kicked off! Paddy caught his Wife having an affair and decided to kill her and himself. He puts the gun to his head, looks at his Wife and says Dont laugh, youre next!! An Irishmen wanting to become a Priest went to see the Bishop who said You must answer 3 questions on the Bible. 1st - Who was born in a stable? Red Rum he replied 2nd - What do you think of Damascus ? It kills 99% of all germs he replied. 3rd - What happened when the disciples went to Mount Olive ? Thats easy he said Popeye kicked the shit out of them!! Little boy gets home from school and says Dad, Ive got a part in the school play as a man whos been married for 25 years. His Dad replies Never mind Son. Maybe next time youll get a speaking part!! Two Irishmen looking through a mail order catalogue. Paddy says Look at these gorgeous women! The prices are reasonable too. Mick agrees Im ordering one right now 3 weeks later Paddy says to Mick Has your woman turned up yet? No said Mick but it shouldnt be long now though. Her clothes arrived yesterday!! A dwarf goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks I know you are busy but do you treat dwarves? The doctor replies Yes, but you will have to be a little patient. In hindsight I should have posted my Facebook status as: Ive blown the head gasket on my 1999XR3i rather than Ive just buggered a 14 year old escort. The police still havent seen the funny side, my lap tops been confiscated, and the wife has gone off to her mother.
Posted on: Sun, 27 Oct 2013 23:58:35 +0000