Thats what I am, Rand said. A story. A legend. To be told to children years from now, spoken of in whispers. He shook his head. Sometimes, you cant turn back. You have to keep pressing on. And sometimes, you know this climb is your last. You all claim that I have grown too hard, that I will inevitably shatter and break if I continue on. But you assume that there needs to be something left of me to continue on. That I need to climb back down the mountain once Ive reached the top. Thats the key, Nynaeve. I see it now. I will not live through this, and so I dont need to worry about what might happen to me after the Last Battle. I dont need to hold back, dont need to salvage anything of this beaten up soul of mine. I know that I must die. Those who wish for me to be softer, willing to bend, are those who cannot accept what will happen to me. He looked down at Min again. Many times before, Nynaeve had seen affection in his eyes when he regarded her, but this time they were blank. Set in that same, emotionless face. We can find a way, Rand, Nynaeve said. Surely there is a way to win but also let you live. No, he growled softly. Do not tempt me down that path again. It only leads to pain, Nynaeve. I ... I used to think about leaving something behind to help the world survive once I died, but that was a struggle to keep living. I cant indulge myself. Ill climb this bloody mountain and face the sun. You all will deal with what comes next. That is how it must be. She opened her mouth to object again, but he gave her a sharp glance. That is how it must be, Nynaeve. She closed her mouth. You did well tonight, Rand said. You have saved us all a lot of trouble. I did it because I want you to trust me, Nynaeve said, then immediately cursed herself. Why had she said that? Was she really so tired that she blabbed the first thing that came to her mind? Rand just nodded. I do trust you, Nynaeve. As much as I trust anyone; more than I trust most. You think you know what is best for me, even against my wishes, but that is something I can accept. The difference between you and Cadsuane is that you actually care about me. She only cares about my place in her plans. She wants me to be part of the Last Battle. You want me to live. For that, you have my thanks. Dream on my behalf, Nynaeve. Dream for things I no longer can.
Posted on: Thu, 11 Sep 2014 14:20:24 +0000
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