The first thing that every married Muslim must realize is that ones spouse is first and foremost another Muslim. He/she is ones brother and sister in Islam. Therefore, at minimum all rights that fall upon a Muslim due to the general brotherhood of Islam are also due to ones spouse. It is a sad situation for a Muslim brother or sister to respect their Muslim brothers and sisters outside of the house but for the situation in the house to degenerate into less even than that minimum standard of respect and kindness inside the household. Therefore the first step is for every Muslim to open some of the books about respect, manners (adab) and courtesy towards other Muslims and to realize that all of those principles apply to their partner in their house. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) stressed this when he said: No one of you has believed until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself. [Bukhari & Muslim] Clearly, husband and wife have even greater rights and obligations toward each other due to the great and important contract which ha been transacted between them and on which basis they live together. In the Quran, Allah states that if a husband wishes to divorce one wife and marry another that he may not take back any of the dowry which was given no matter how large it was. Then, Allah says: How could you take it once you have entered unto one another and they (the women) have taken from you and awesome covenant. [Noble Quran 4:21] Because of this awesome covenant, rights and obligations between husband and wife should not be looked at coldly or legalistically. Spouses should strive to make other happy and take into consideration the needs, abilities and weaknesses of the other. Since in most cases, neither spouse is completely fulfilling their obligations, they should both realize and acknowledge their own shortcomings. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) in particular advised the husbands to treat their wives in the best way - perhaps due to their greater authority in the household and their greater strength. This is clear in the following hadith: The best of you is the best of you to their family and I am the best of you to my family. I entreat you to treat women well for they have been created from a rib and the most crooked part of a rib is the upper part. If you insist on straightening it, you will break it. If you leave it, it will remain crooked. So, I entreat you to treat women well. [Bukhari] Actually, both spouses usually fail to some extent in fulfilling their obligations. Therefore, before criticizing the other or being harsh with the other due to some shortcoming, each one should look first to themselves and realize what wrong they may be doing.
Posted on: Tue, 01 Apr 2014 18:42:10 +0000