The late Mr. Oyugi who summed up as our games teacher took the doctor’s letter and filed it, at least to show my mother that he would take the doctor’s advice seriously. My elder sister Janet Itindi stood beside me acting so sportive you would think her role model was Paul Tergat. I was not going to let any of the teachers know that I could even throw a kick while in real sense I was the mother of all sports, both seen and unseen. I had been in this boarding school for barely a month and already here I was faking some health condition with the help of my mother and our family doctor, Dr. Mamboyote. Ok, you were not expecting me to say his real name, were you? Say whaaatt? That guy is still practicing bwana, am not selling him out, so he will remain Dr. Mamboyote. Wait a minute, why am I even making his name an issue? This guy is not going to feature anywhere else in this story apart from this paragraph which am concluding this very minute! In the letter, I was apparently not supposed to do any kind of work that involved bending. This is because I ‘had’ a back problem. I know some of you have not even noticed the quotes in the word had then you will later start wishing me a quick recovery! Quotes aside, my mother and I had collaborated to fake the condition to keep me away from heavy duty. Janet on the other hand was ready to work double, both her’s and mine. Wharever! She was the older one anyway. My mother then bid us bye and left as we went back to class. Thirty minutes in class and ‘riiiiiiiiiiiiing’ the lunch bell went. All you could hear was patapatapatapata, tiny legs of primary school kids rushing to the dining hall. It was known as Rice Race. This was a race that needed no warm up or practice, a race that recorded a new world record every single week with over fifty people clinching the gold medal at the same time. I am not saying Janet loved eating, ah ah, all I am saying is that she never slipped to silver or bronze, not even on visiting days when every other person was participating in the race by proxy. On this day, she did not disappoint, gold medal it was, only this time she represented me as well. I could not participate in the race because that morning, I had experienced a kick, by a donkey of all the animals! Now let the story begin! Our school was situated in some very remote place somewhere. We had no piped water. All we had was a borehole that jammed whenever it felt like and roofs to help us tap water when it rained. On this day, the borehole had jammed and since it was a dry season, we had no chance of tapping any water. That morning, I had gone to the dining hall as usual to take breakfast. Me being the Beryl that I was, decided to pass by the kitchen and say hi to the cooks. The kitchen was adjacent to the dining hall and so it was just going to be a matter of hi and bye, at least that is what I thought. When I got to the kitchen, I found my favorite cook Mokonono. He was doing something behind the kitchen door. I could not see him clearly but could hear him. He told me not to enter but stand outside as he finished doing what he was doing before he could say hi. Aaaaaaah Beryl I am very obedient. I stood outside the kitchen door facing the dining hall entrance as I waited for Mokonono to come and say hi. I got carried away looking at my fellows clinching gold and did not hear Mokonono shout my name! The next thing I remember was my face giving the dining hall wall a high five! Kumbe Mokonono was in the kitchen with one of the donkeys that had brought water to the school that morning. I did not see the donkey in the kitchen because it had been standing behind the door. Mokonono was offloading the water it had brought. The donkey had started walking out backwards and found me at the entrance and did the necessary. Have you ever been too shocked to react? You know after my face high fived the wall, I fell down so hard. I then quickly raised my head to see where else the earthquake had hit hard! I was sure though that I had been the epicenter. I was lying there looking at my broken cup which was still in my hand when I saw the donkey walk towards me with Mokonono trying to hit it. That is when I realized that it was not an earthquake, everyone else was very ok, I was the only one down, I had been ‘thanked’ by the donkey. I was still lying there helpless as I watched it walk towards me when I remembered that misfortunes come in threes! I had been kicked, my cup was broken and now there I was waiting for misfortune number three. Were it not for Mokonono, misfortune number three could have gone down quite well. Ok, now you know why I did not participate in the rice race right? Janet represented me well and brought me my food. After lunch, we all went back to class, full but very thirsty. No one had taken even a single drop of water. It was that serious. It was unbearable. That is why we were relieved when our head teacher summoned us all in between the afternoon lessons and told us to go and fetch water from a nearby river. Ever since I joined the school that term, I had never experienced such water shortage and so had never gone to this river. The older students who had been there before were however used to it. It was not a fun thing to do considering the river was down a hill and one had to carry the water up the hill to the school. That did not bother Janet and I, we were so excited, we had never done this and we were sure it was going to be fun! Everyone rushed to the dormitory to pick her basin and together with two watchmen to keep guard, we left the school. It was such a lively experience leaving the school compound and feeling the atmosphere outside. I was among the first people to reach the river. When I got there, I was shocked! Almost everyone was bending down to the water. At first, I thought that they were smelling the water, only to realize that they were actually drinking it! To make it worse they were not alone! Cows, goats and donkeys were also drinking from the same source at the same time! I stood there looking at them and thought eeeeeeeww!! How could they! They would drink to their fill then fill their basins and start the journey back to school. I was still standing there eeeewing when Janet went past me and did what Romans were doing in Rome! I went and stood next to her just to confirm her head was intact. Maybe, just maybe someone had hit her with a blunt object and she wasn’t reasoning! Then she looked up and said “Beryl, ushakunywa? Wewe endelea tu kusimama hapo na unaona watu wanakunywa maji, ama uko na mineral water kwa dormitory?” Before I could even answer her, my classmate Everline shouted, “Beryl, kuja ukunywe ya hii side, hapo kuna spirogyra. Ama skuma tu hizo spirogyra kando ukunywe.” Heheheeee, where the hell did I pass this disease that had infected everyone as they came down the hill? I was not going to drink that water, ah ah! I was just standing there perplexed when I realized that people were actually on their way back and the guard was asking us to hurry up because we were the last ones. That’s when it hit me that I was not getting Keringet sparkling water anytime soon. I went down on my knees, looked at a cow next to me for motivation and sunk my lips into the river, hapo ndio eeeeeeewww ilinifikisha! I drank the water like no one’s business. After that I looked up and said “Nikishikwa na Cholera shauri yenu”. The guard looked at me and said “Ukishikwa nayo utaenda kwa dispensary, iko dawa”! I then quickly filled my basin and put it on my head and started the journey back. Our school required that we shave our hair clean and so when I put the basin on my head, it hurt so much. I was about to start complaining when I realized Janet and I were the only ones without some cloth that is put on the head before the water is put. They called it ‘thach’. We had never really done this, so we had no idea that we were supposed to place a cloth on our heads first. That was not really a challenge to us, the main challenge was going up the hill with the water on our heads! You make a step forward, the water pours backwards. You make a step backwards to try and save the water pouring backwards, it pours forward! Heleeeeee, by the time we were getting to school, our basins were half empty! The rule was, you go to the dormitory via the kitchen. One had to pour half of her water into the kitchen tank and go to the dormitory with the other half. The teacher on duty was there monitoring all this! You can imagine the look on her face when Janet and I got there with half basins of water! I just think I will let this paragraph hang because of the torture we endured on this day trying to bargain with the teacher on duty on whether………………………………………………………………….ooooooh, I said I was going to let this paragraph hang, damn I almost forgot! Let’s just say that we had the longest afternoon such that when evening came, we said Hallelujah! Ok, Hallelujah wasn’t for long, there was this animal known as cross country that just squeezed life out of those of us who were not athletic. Every evening, we were supposed to go running for some kilometers apparently to keep fit. It was hectic! The distance was long and the games teacher was mean! Imagine someone running behind you with a bamboo stick! If he catches up with you, the bamboo lands on your back! Alar! Have you ever been hit by anything when sweating and in motion? I tell you anytime the stick made contact with your body it was like stepping on the accelerator in a Range Rover Sports going down a steep lane! It would send you screaming and running, ok, that was to the normal people. To those ‘disnormal’ like me, it would send us to a state of panic and anger mixed with bitterness and we would either give up, sit down and start crying or react unknowingly by hurling insults at the bamboo bearer as we ran vertically and not horizontally. But one had to be careful, if you were going to fight back using words, you sure had to be ready to go the Bolt way just in case he snapped at you! That evening, I was lucky enough not to be part of the cross country, thanx to the morning kick. So as the others left the school to go running, those of us who could not run stayed behind doing some aerobics in the field. One hour later, they started steaming in from the race. One by one they joined us in the field. My relaxing spree was cut short after I realized Janet was not among the top ten to get back. She was a Kipchoge Keiness for crying out loud! She had never missed in the top ten when it came to cross country. I just sat there and thought maybe she just decided to be sluggish this one time. Then I saw the games teacher run back, teren tereeen! He was always the last one to come back! Where on planet earth was my sister? She had left with the rest but she wasn’t back yet every other person was back, including the games teacher! I started running around in looking for her amongst people. When I was convinced she wasn’t there, I began crying………………….loudly! I attracted everyone’s attention. Teacher: Itindi what is wrong? Me: I am not seeing Janet. Teacher: Where is she? What do you mean you can’t see her? Me: (crying) Waaaaaaaah, mumepeleka wapi Janeeeeeet?? Teacher: (Panicking) Can everybody stand in a straight line, where is Janet? Who has seen Janet Itindi? Me: (Still crying, I swear I was so irritating) Nataka Janeeeeeeeeeeeeet! After a frantic search, we realized that Janet was not in the school. I was hysterical and annoying! The teachers felt like just sedating me. I was sure Janet had left with them. A group of about ten students was formed together with the watchman and they left to go and search for Janet along the route they had used to go for the cross country. I joined them by force and off we went. We searched all the bushes and paths and Janet was nowhere to be seen. Just then I saw someone lying next to the road when we were halfway, it was Janet! She had actually got tired and just dropped to rest and no one had even realized she had, not even the teacher. Somehow she got mad that everyone was just going past her and decided she was not going to join them. She would sit there in protest and wait for help. Indeed help came. The moment she saw us, she pretended that she was running out of breath and we began administering some first aid on her. I knew my sister better and I knew she was pretending. So I just sat there relaxing and looking at them sweat! The watchman then carried her on his back and we went back to school. When we got back to school, DURAMA!! By the way, have you realized the letter on the first paragraph has nothing to do with this story?
Posted on: Fri, 04 Apr 2014 06:23:41 +0000
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