The suicide of Robin Williams brings up memories for me-- of the depression and pain I experienced for many years. I remember talking with my best friend and saying You know its just so painful, its like when you plan your death and think of all the ways you can kill yourself. And on the phone was silence for awhile before she said No, Ive never thought about ending my life. It was at that moment I realized I wasnt like everyone else, as I thought it was normal to have consistent thoughts of suicide like I had. I made an agreement with my therapist that if I ever actually got to the point of planning my own death I would call her. Those were dark years, of pain and depression on deep levels. As I continued to smile and laugh through life, no one would have known the turmoil that was happening in my inner world. Thank God I never had to call my therapist to walk me through an attempt. By the grace of God, years of therapy, and 10 years of work in Spiritual Psychology, those thoughts and depression have lifted, and my laughter and smiles are so genuine and felt through my whole being now. I share this experience not for sympathy or compassion for me, but to share with those who might be feeling that same way and doing a great job of hiding it from the world, there is GRACE and life can change and shift in a miraculous manner. I love you.
Posted on: Wed, 13 Aug 2014 01:26:07 +0000
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