Thinking about moving to India, or working on a farm in Australia, or volunteering in a Buddhist monastery in Thailand, or camping my way through the Mongolian plains. My life is split into two, as is the case with many other travelers. Half of me wishes to develop a foundation in one place, to create strong relationships with those around me for years to come, to develop my career and pursue my interest in fashion and design, to fall in love with someone, to grow older with a sense of stability, whether illusory or not, to have a single place where I might belong. The other half of me wishes to explore and absorb the world and all the far away beauty that it has to offer while Im still young. I dont want to care about money or material possessions, I want to give away everything that is unnecessary and simply experience the true fruits of life, just satisfy the curiosity that drives my spirit, to fall in love many times, to let go of my fear of change, to learn, understand, and accept the true meaning of our existence, and face reality head on. I know I cant have both. I dont have much money. Im not wealthy by any means, but I only want to live a beautiful life, and make choices and memories that I wont be regretful about on my deathbed. Admittedly, Im afraid to leave China, though I know the fear can and eventually will have to be suppressed, as it will lessen over time. Ive begun to have strong feelings for someone as well, and Im emotionally attached to my friends here, but I acknowledge that everything is temporary. Though hesitant, Im ready for another big life change. The most overwhelming, incomprehensible, and amazing aspect of the modern day Human condition to me, is the sheer inconceivable variety and magnitude of Human experience. Limitless roads, but a limited number of which to take. Its a tough choice. Love all of you.
Posted on: Thu, 29 May 2014 21:11:43 +0000
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