This Mothers Day, please remember that the title mother is earned. One who births a baby is not automatically a mother, and we are not obligated to anyone simply because we share DNA. My sister is adopted, abandoned at birth by someone who didnt have the foresight or maturity to understand the consequences of her actions. My mother, who raised my sister from the time she was 10 days old, is her mother. The woman who abandoned her is a tunnel my sister passed through, and nothing more. That woman has tried to contact my sister on multiple occasions, and each time, my sister has been strong enough to reject the idea of this stranger somehow being her mother. I also have someone important to me who no longer has a mother. The person who gave birth to her has lost that title, as the days she was kind are far outweighed by the days she was emotionally and physically abusive. The first will never excuse the second. A shared biology is not an excuse to mistreat a human being. There is an idea that is force-fed to children in every culture that we are supposed to find a way to forgive our families for all their transgressions. And that is true - when you define the word family correctly. The one you are born into is not always the one you end up with. For those who want to call themselves mothers without putting the work in, I hope today is an honest day for you. I hope today is not a day of blame, but of introspection. You would be wrong to think of the former sons and daughters I described as ungrateful. The truth you must face is that you brought the emptiness of today on yourself, and the people you blame are bold and compassionate men and women who have thankfully surpassed their own genetics. For those who have earned the title mother, thank you. I hope that those who have had the good fortune to have you in their lives understand that you are not to be taken for granted. And I hope you have raised them with enough sensitivity to understand that their mother is not the only one that could use a hug today. And for those former sons and daughters who have had the courage to leave an abusive situation, I hope today emboldens you. Do not let your friends twitters be a reminder of what you dont have - rather let it be a reminder of what you can create for yourself.
Posted on: Sun, 11 May 2014 22:51:06 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015