UPDATE: We are being released locally today to the RMDH. Although Jason is still in Moderate-Severe heart failure the team here thinks that he will do better out of the hospital. We will be having weekly appointments to closely monitor his heart function, energy, blood levels and eating habits. They will continue to monitor very closely until its time for transplant or his function comes back (this is very unlikely at this point). Soo we wait.... Although the team is comfortable with releasing us, I can honestly say I am completely petrified. I know that God has a plan and we are on the road that he has paved for us but the thought of Jason being off monitors and without extra eyes on him is overwhelming. HEART FAILURE.... HEART FAILURE.... HEART FAILURE.... those are the words that keep running through my mind.... What if I miss an obvious sign that something is wrong? or..... He has another episode and there isnt standby equipment to keep him alive? The what Ifs are exhausting but I know that I have to stay strong and positive for my son. But its really really hard.... I am only human after all. But I am trying my best. I dont want my anxiety to overwhelm my 3 year olds little mind.... So we keep moving forward trying to hide the nervousness behind giggles, laughs and good times outside these walls. The RMDH will be a far more comfortable place for him with lots of toys and free space to play. I am sure that moving without the thought of pulling lines will be a relief for both Jason and us. Not to mention not having to worry quite as much about germs is going to be a nice transition... (we all know how OCD mamma is about them pesky germs). We will update as the time passes and more decisions are made about Jasons future. As for now we will look forward to having a great holiday season outside the hospital!!! Many Heart Hugs
Posted on: Wed, 05 Nov 2014 18:24:15 +0000
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