Who Are Your friends? Ah! Woe to me! Would that I had never taken such-and-such as a friend! [Noble Quran 25: 28] The one who is always there to console you when you want to talk about a problem, the one who sticks by you through thick and thin, the one whom you can count on to be there for you - this is the person who leaves no doubts in your mind that he or she is your best friend. You like each others company and love to spend time together. If something important happens in your life, theyre the first to know. You trust them and depend upon them in times of need. They may be a classmate, a colleague, a neighbor, a sister, a mother; or even your spouse! It could be anyone who fits this description. But are they really your true friend? How can you find out? Ask yourself: are they taking you towards the most certain and perpetual success and benefit: that of the Hereafter, or are they going to be the cause of regret for you on the Day of Judgment? See for yourself. Here is a checklist. When in each others company, you both: 1. Comfortably backbite and make fun of people. 2. Laugh at others together, be it a passerby or someone you are discussing. 3. Call each other demeaning names in fun. 4. Start a conversation with Hi! and plunge into an exchange of the latest gossip. 5. Hardly ever mention or discuss Allah, the Quran or Hadith in the time spent together. 6. End up spending money on things you dont need. 7. Feel hesitant to discuss religion, unless it is a criticism of any aspect of Islam. 8. Never point out each others faults politely; if one does, the other quickly changes the subject or gets defensive. 9. Get involved in activities that delay/do away with Salah (Islamic Prayer), the major obligation from Allah. 10. Have never prayed any Salah together. 11. Support each other in fulfilling every desire - a dress that caught your fancy, or the in-fashion shoes, even if they are not needed. 12. Discuss unimportant things and events in meticulous detail, such as a film, the latest clothes you got tailored, or a wedding party you attended. 13. When one of you feels guilty about having committed a sin, the other quickly offers reassurance that Its no big deal, everyone does it, and comes up with convincing excuses for the other not to feel guilty about it. About a friendship that has most of the above characteristics, Allah says in the Quran: Friends on that day will be foes to one and another - except the Righteous Ones. [Noble Quran 43: 67] Allah makes an exception to this situation in the Quranic verse above: except those who are Al-Muttaqin: the righteous ones. So who are these `righteous ones? How can you tell whether your friend is really and truly your sincere friend? Here is another checklist of characteristics that depict a friendship that will lead to success in the Hereafter. When together, you both: 1. Remind each other of Allah when you set eyes on each other. 2. Leave each others company with a higher level of Iman (faith in Allah). 3. Inevitably start the conversation with the Islamic greeting `As-Salamu-Alaykum, and receive the proper reply for it. 4. Almost always mention Allah, the Quran, or Hadith in some context or the other, in your conversations. 5. Strengthen each others belief on the Hereafter. 6. Always end up exchanging useful and mature ideas and thoughts. 7. Love each other above and beyond worldly benefits. 8. Give each other more Duas (well wishes) than material gifts. 9. Enquire regularly about the health of the others family. 10. Attend religious study-circles/ Halaqahs together. 11. Have prayed Salah together many times. 12. Have watched each other cry, out of fear of Allah or out of regret for committing a transgression. 13. Listen attentively if the other is saying something that pleases Allah. 14. Politely point out and reform each others mistakes or bad habits in the best way possible. 15. Laugh a lot together, but with decent, non-malicious humor. 16. Become uninterested and change the subject if the other starts to say something that is impermissible. 17. Always discourage the other if they plan to do something wrong. 18. Always encourage the other if they intend to do a good deed that theyre hesitant to do. 19. Never waste each others time in useless activities. 20. Never invite the other to a place or gathering of sin. 21. Have full trust that they will never reveal secrets or personal problems to others, nor will they gossip about you behind your back. 22. Address each other in a respectful and loving manner. 23. Forgive each others faults and shortcomings, and hide them from others. Those whose friendships possess most of the above characteristics are those who shall be saved from all kinds of discomfort and pain on the Day of Judgment when their Lord will provide them with a special place under His Throne, according to His promise: Narrated by Abu Hurairah: Allahs Messenger (Peace and blessings be upon him) said: Verily, Allah will say on the Day of Standing: `Where are those who had mutual love for the sake of My Glory? Today I shall shelter them in My shadow when there is no other shadow but the shadow of Mine. [Sahih Muslim Number 6225]
Posted on: Sun, 28 Dec 2014 16:24:38 +0000
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