Yazmine S NDE I miscarried the baby in the hospital and though I was very sad about the event, I felt that all was meant to be. As if {Ive never wanted to name the Divine} or as I would like to refer to here as, The Great Presence. Two nurses came to take me up a few stairs to for an internal exam. As we went up I felt myself begin to reel backwards and off I went round and round through space, I stopped spinning and began flying past planets and stars, I flew through the rings of Saturn seeing massive rocks and dust particles right before my eyes, I was marveling at the astounding beauty and laughing about how no one would believe my experience on Earth. It all felt so wonderful so exactly perfect, I was an astronaut, a fabulous free spirit of joy! I was filled with indescribable joy and love for all of creation from the vastness of space to the smallest of all nano-expressions! Then suddenly I was above my body which lay on a stretcher bed, wearing a white hospital gown, I looked at my body and knew it wasnt the real me, it was the thing I had been caught inside, and now I was free! Oh and how I felt such happiness! The joy was all pervading, it was the real world, pain , suffering, loss, all illusionary experience that we like to get all knotted up about.. everything was becoming clear to me oh and the nurses were calling my name, one was crying tears, another was saying oh my God, weve lost her! meanwhile I was above them thinking what silly billys they were making all that fuss, wondering why they couldnt see me and just know that all was perfectly fabulous! Then I saw a window which was open about 6 inches wide and I thought wow, I wonder if I can fit through there, then instantly I was in another state. I was flying through Goldenness, pure, serene, delightful, Goldenness. Oh wow! I was held by this serenity for the longest time, I couldnt do anything except be with It and It with me. It was inside me , It was me, It was in and with everyone and everything. It had always been in and with everything. It was/is, Truth and Love and Compassion and Joy and All. This Goldenness held all information. It was the One Mind. It contained the creation of all of everything ever created. I felt, experienced, everything that has ever been and ever shall be. All is simultaneously occurring . There is no past or future. It all just IS. There is no way to describe the immaculate beauty of this experience, though every day for the last 35 years I wish I could find a way. Bliss, is a mere descriptive word, yet does not give to you what I wish I could, but yes bliss is close, sort of. I saw and experienced every single detail of my present life up to that moment, like watching a movie yet starring as the main character simultaneously..that made me feel quite sad, as I had not lived my life in a state of serene joy, and felt ashamed..ashamed that I had not realized how imperative it is for one to be incredibly happy in this life..no matter the circumstances..the pain..the fear..no matter the matter! All our material conflicts of body and mind are quite unimportant in the state of ultimate freedom and blissful awareness to which we shall all return. I felt I had been unfaithful to The Great Presence, who like a Divinely loving Mother, I had let down..I was my own judge..and yet I was this love simultaneously. I saw how all of Humanity has walked with eyes cast low to the Earth, not opening wide to the beauty of the One loving presence of Golden peace in which we truly live yet do not see. I saw how sadness overcomes those who cannot forgive themselves or others, and on their day of awakened mind they too shall be ashamed and slowly sink to lower experience. I saw how in being uplifted we can all ascend to the true joy together as a loving family of Beings beyond human life in mundane ness. I saw how there is a level of fear so ingrained in some its hard to look at and yet they too can find a way through to peacefulness. I saw how things will change, yet only after massive suffering and yet I saw too that it is possible to end suffering. I saw that I had a purpose and that all beings have purpose. I saw we are not separate, we are all the One. And I saw that we must have all the courage possible to achieve this fabulous unity. It is highly possible. I felt and experienced all of creation as an omni-experience, there was no time involved at any level. I saw it is so simple it cannot be expressed, it is best to let the mind be still and then it may occur of itself. It was such a feeling of raised joy I was in, and in the distance a Great Presence appeared which is the most Ultimate of Holiness emanating extraordinary Brilliance! This Great Presence is the Heart of all of everything..and we are but foolish children! I put my arms out to try to fly and saw that they were rainbows of colors I was a rainbow being..I was made of light and color I was overjoyed! I thought I can fly to the Great Presence before me and unite with the purity of all that is was and ever shall be..That was my hearts desire, to be at one with the Great Presence which they call God, and yet I dare not announce a name to that which is beyond naming. I begin to fly and move closer to that beauteous sight and begin to feel the Great Presence pervade my very core, as if my entirety is exploding into love..when a great powerful voice which seems to echo in all directions and vibrates through to my very soul declares It is not your time whereupon I feel such sorrow and in my mind I am saying no no no please dont make me go back for I do not want to return to this Earth, ever again. I awake in the hospital bed two days later and cry in heartache that I am here on Earth again. I have never felt at home here, and have been alone with this and many other amazing and profound experiences for which I struggle to find anyone to connect with. So I do hope my experience is of some help, and I wish I could re-write it so I dont leave anything out..but I am afraid that would take a long time as there is too much to explain here. But since then I have been living as if in a double life, for no one would believe me if I told them everything I have seen. Compliments of nderf
Posted on: Mon, 18 Nov 2013 01:22:47 +0000
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