l had such a ridiculous dream the other day! It could be that Zimbabwe and Canada have a lot in common and at times l fail to distinguish one from the other. l had a dream in which l was in Masvingo reading the headline of The Herald that was screaming: To ENBRIDGE OR UNBRIDGE: IS NOT EVEN THE QUESTION! The story had disturbed me and in the dream had sat there for what seemed like forever, reading the story again and again till every word stuck on my mind! l could not stop the sea of tears that burst forth from my eyes. Shortly thereafter, someone had come running, frantically waving an independent paper; there was hesitation and a slight stammer in his voice as he broke the news, telling me and everyone there present that the writer of the article that l was reading had been charged with treason! The shock and disgust could be read like an open book from the faces of all present. Not only had the writer of whom l did not get to hear if it was a she/he been found guilty, but had actually been executed already! Before the crowd had had any time to digest the news, a large woman appeared and there was no doubt in anyones mind that she too carried important news! Everyone was quiet such that the silence could be sliced only by a chainsaw! She did not waste time and we all held our breath but what more news could be sadder than this unfortunate incident? Every word was as clear as can be and slowly she heaved down the burden she had in her chest. It had turned out that the woman who had claimed that she had discovered a spring that was oozing with purified diesel in Chinhoyi had turned out to be a con-artist! The ancestors, the spiritual woman had claimed, on realizing that our brother who had promised to ease the countrys fuel crisis had backed out, had intervened to save our political leaders who had failed to curb the fuel shortages and were facing pressure from the people since everything had come to a complete halt! There is no running modern civilization without fuel! This had a direct bearing on the people who had put forward all previous years crop earnings after heeding the call from the government that they would get yearly fuel rations if they helped finance in tapping into the resources that the heavens had smiled down on us to shame the detractors! The woman had also been hanged for misleading the nation! There was commotion as people chewed in the news and it was in that moment that a man l could not recognize made his presence known and it was as clear as the blue sky that he too had news to announce! It never rains but sure pours! We all held our breath to receive the worst of the worst! He was such an orator and had no problems in getting everyones attention and had soon everyone eating from his hand. The dream went on and as tiring as it is to recollect, l will skip the rest and will finish it later but it brings me to what happened today. l for sure know that history/herstory has a weird way of repeating itself but this one was extra juicy and left me in stitches! At least l managed to do it in my cuff as we left Toyota Duncan! But not without a spectacular scene that made my day and will sure remember it for a while to come! This is how it all started and l will try as best as possible to hummer the point home sooner than later but my point is to draw the similarities and lessons that can be drawn from experience. It is not however possible for me to continue without reader knowing that after four years of studying marketing management, my first job was working as an insurance salesman! Such a creepy job it was! You did not need to be an economist to tell that the industry was doomed for failure as inflation ran rings around the country as hidden forces in glee made fun of the poor masses speculating, ridiculing, dancing as muscles were flexed and power struggle was the order of the day. My job was to fleece unsuspecting clients to invest for their future and that of their children. I remembering laughing with my good Uncle Farai after being initiated with the jargon to sweet talk even if we did not know what they were going to harvest. Even our superiors did not even know. Due to the unethical practice and pressure from our supervisor to travel to rural areas where it was easier to convince people! That was the last shot! l grew up in the rural ares and l always found it annoying when city people in their foolishness always make the mistake of assuming that the rural folk are not wise. We stayed in the same industry and where soon romped into another newly formed insurance brokers selling funeral policies! Insurance sells itself, we were told! As we went through our orientation, we learned that there was a dispute in the managers office! An insurance holder was failing to get the service for something very stupid it made my blood boil as the claim was being denied on very unreasonable ground. As the poor teacher who had lost his wife shuffled out, defeated and angry; my heart poured out to him as he was comforted that since it was his fault they were going to see the best that they would do for him! We were not going to be part of that shameful process and rightly quit with our heads high and chins up! After buying our brand new second hand Toyota Rav at end of January this year, we were sweet talked into buying roadside assistance! If you have a tire/tyre puncture, we come rescue you bla bla, this and that, that and this....! The tires were brand new but we just said well in case, though l was not much of a boy scout l was interested enough to sing their songs especially Be prepared is our motto..! It happened that the car was taken to its first service since we bought on the 30th of June! As my wife reversed on the road as we wanted to head for the Shawnigans Canada Day celebrations, she felt something was wrong with the car and had to stop. We got out and discovered the right front tire was flat, she drove back into the driveway and happily called the experts to deal with the problem! l mentioned how if in Zimbabwe l will take it into my hands to change the tire! After waiting for an hour and a half perhaps, there came an elderly fellow to solve our problem. After all we had bought the insurance so we would leave it to them since if anything should go wrong after you replace your tire, that may hurt your insurance case should you be involved in an accident and which most likely they will pin it on that tire change! l did not understand why a man of his age would do such a job that required much strength. I stood by and watched since he was in no mood to converse. He soon however called for my help when he failed to lift the tire from the holder and l quickly dashed to loosen up a part that had been gotten stuck and his back was bearing the weight of the tire and the look on his face was not good! Slowly but surely he did his job and as late as we were we joined the celebrations, better late than never! We took the tire with us into Duncan for what we hoped would be a quick fix but were told after waiting a while that our problem could not be attended soon since they had to call someone or something to that effect. This was not a problem since we had about 3hours. The smiling counter service person asked for keys since she wanted to check out the mileage. l wondered to myself why she wanted that information. My wife even asked me to go and take the reading and l said that would be taking it too far since l felt it was their job to do that! She went and got the mileage. She then told us to go and come back later. We did not understand when she asked if we needed another car. She said we were supposed to leave the car. l asked why that was so since we just wanted to leave the tire and come back for it later. She then kind like got up from her deep slumber and concurred that there was no need for us to leave the car. She went to fetch someone who would carry the tire into the workshop but after few minutes of waiting she came herself, clear that she could not get someone to do it for her. She had a white shirt by the way and being me l offered to carry the tire for her. She was lovely as she asked me how l was finding Canada. l told her that l felt like a king when simple things like fixing a tire that l grew up helping my father do is paid for in advance and l sure did find it strange. We left and in between my wife had calls from Toyota which she missed but there was a problem as she tried to call back. She had resigned since we were going there after all. When we got there l left my wife to talk to the sales lady as a marvelled at the awards of excellence in service that Toyota gets! Very impressive!! Seeing that there was a discussion going on that had taken longer than necessary l stepped forward to check about the hold up. At that moment she was explaining to my wife the second part of the diagnosis that concluded that she had driven the car with a flat tire! l told her that it was not true at all and went on to explain what had happened. She did not want to listen to that because after all she did not make the decision about how the case was going to go. As l explained a man with some jacket came and stood close by as they do in the movies. Usually the type that have guns under their jackets and looking at him, l wondered if he came from Texas and in that moment l thought of Sam Cookie! My wife should have been intimidated by the presence of this thick set man that was watching the proceedings and she told me to leave it to her. l left the office to get some air and waited outside and again l had to step back in and check the progress. She was in that time explaining that the tire also has its rim corroded which was a result of an improperly closed cap! l had to interject and remind her that the car had just had a service the previous day and even the tires had been checked so for them to write such a poor report was unacceptable. The Texan was soon back again and l wondered what was going through his mind. Sensing that l was not going to break down, the sales lady offered to call the expert and l was delighted! He came and l felt so sorry for him. l knew right away that this man was not going to be useful in solving this case. l had one question for him: Sir are you sure about the your statement that the car was driven with a flat tire as to your report? He said no, it sure was not like that he had meant to say it is likely that it happened. l explained that all she did was reverse back on the road and right away back because one could not drive a car like that. l pointed at his report that also the cap might have caused the rim to rust and hence the flat tire. The Texan went away and he was soon back with the Bodyguard from China or it could have been Japanese! Do you know movies in which the bully bouncer with a chest pushed far way to out comes and just stand without saying anything. l asked the woman if this security intimidation was really necessary? She did not answer neither did the two ruthless giants ready to pounce and shoot as they hovered there like birds of prey! Here was another biblical David and Goliath story! l could be wrong but l am sure if it was to go into a fight, it was most likely that l was going to use my age advantage A joke that my Uncle Forward always pulled as we had our refreshments at the Reagent hotels Flamboyant and Chevron! If l did anything that showed that l was taking advantage of my height he would remind me that Goliath did not loose because he was weak but because David was older and knew exactly how to deal with Ndhimba-ndimba ine dzungu but no strategy! l could not believe my homeboys Godfrey story as he was driving a a heavy truck and he was soon stopped by over zealous revenue authorities shouting that he come out with his hands up and in a cowboy movie style had their guns drawn out and ready to shoot! In December last year, two weeks before Christmas, as my poor wife was thrown under the bus, l shared with her pre and post independence stories that happened at Triangle Limited; and most importantly the positive correlation between Zimbabwe Sugar Milling Industry Workers Union and the BCTF! Unotobva watoshaya kuti zviri kunyatsofamba sei! Vamwewo hanzi batai munhu! l have no time to revise this and please take my mistakes as kisses! (A winning line back in the day when testing waters during asking a girl out, form 1 l guess!)
Posted on: Sun, 06 Jul 2014 03:04:32 +0000