11 Lessons... I have been faced with hard choices in life and made decisions that werent always wise. I was raised by a strong single parent and an uncle who both taught me to be strong and that the world was out there waiting. My mom was facing her own challenges and lessons many of which I learned with her. My goals growing up mostly consisted of going to college, and finding a way to go paid, because I thought that was the only hope I had of going period. I graduated high school in varsity sports and with a 4.17 GPA. I got my full ride Naval Scholarship to UNM. What I failed to realized and plan for was life after I reached my goal. I had no idea what I wanted to do besides maybe be a doctor and my scholarship didnt cover that program. Lesson 1) Failing to plan is never a good plan. I loved working out so I fell into the sport medicine field. Being an overachiever I took 21 credit hours not including Naval class and the extra physical fatigue of participating in cross country (also failed to realize UNM was at 6,000ft above sea level). I found myself exhausted and needing someone or thing to let me know what I was working for next. Lesson 2) Dont let anyone plan your future that is your job! This is when I met my ex husband. He was strong and educated, he had a solid career and was what I thought was suppose to happen in my life. Lesson 3) Nothing is suppose to happen, you make things happen. So after he asked me to marry him, for the fourth time, I said yes. I was 19. He told me that Id have to get out of the Navy because he was in the Marine Corps and we would never be stationed together. So I gave up my 1 goal in life and followed his lead. Lesson 4) Never give up something you worked for because it was worth it and should remain of value. We got married in the following few years. Three weeks after the wedding I found out I was pregnant. At 21 I became a mother. And again at 24 and 26. Our family traveled like any military family and most of the time I took on all the household responsibilities because my ex was overseas or in schools. I love my children but I was left unfulfilled. I finished my degree online and in various colleges. I picked business with an emphasis accounting. Why? Well because it seemed like a challenge and I needed one bad. I graduated again with a 4.0 GPA and I stood by and helped my family grow. I made my boys strong and taught them that nothing can hold them back besides themselves. Lesson 5) Never hold yourself back for anyone I realized I was MOM or my exs wife and that somewhere, somehow I lost me. I couldnt continue to live what was suppose to be happy. I worked but nothing significant. My ex was convinced I needed to raise the boys and he would work more if we needed things but he didnt understand the money wasnt the goal. At that time I was 29 and pregnant again. I delivered the baby early due to a blood clot. I held my 4th son for an entire day feeling his heart beat and cuddling his little body knowing I wouldnt have him for long. He died in my arms 26hrs after he was born. Lesson 6) Cherish every second in life because you cant ever get them back. I left the hospital days later, lost once again. Not knowing who I was, how I was going to be strong enough to bury my child and explain to his brothers why he wasnt ever coming home to play. Knowing my husband didnt understand who I was either or what I wanted in life, nor did he care. So I put my boots on, took care of my losses, and marched into my husband and told him that I was done. Lesson 6) Never be afraid to start over. My divorce cost me well over $100,000 attorney fees alone were $33,000 one can say my ex had no intention of making my life easy. I had 3 part time jobs, 3 kids, a house and way to many bills but I knew I would find me. I prayed and got lost many, many times. I found pleasure in dark places some of which I knew better because I saw my mom go through. But I woke up before I traveled to far down any one or two misguided roads. Oddly enough some of the challenges I faced brought a few amazing friends into my path. Lesson 7) People will take and give what you allow I realized all the above wasnt me. I found my career and put my feet back on solid ground one step at a time. I had help and I allowed people to help. I gave more of me than I should have but nothing I regret. Lesson 8)Live life with no regrets I became me, solid. Someone I could admire and my kids could be proud to call, not only mom, but a role model. I started to realize somewhere along this path that what was suppose to make me happy just wasnt for me. I started dating women. Lesson 9) If it taste good eat it. I met an amazing woman she changed my perspectives and open my world. She made me realize I could do and have anything. So I began just that. I explained to my boys that love isnt limited and neither is life. If you love someone let them know, no matter who or what they are. If you want something let it be known too. Lesson 10) Nothing is suppose to be....NOTHING! This past weekend I announced my engagement to a woman who has faced her own challenges in life. Some of which we now face together. She told her mother that her and I were engaged and her moms response was, She couldnt be any sadder for her. That she would rather her be a cocaine addict, and that she disowned her. Not that we need her for support, but if you are a parent please never say such words to your child! With that I leave you this.... As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasnt supposed to ever let us down, probably will. Youll have your heart broken and youll break others hearts. Youll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and youll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like youve never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. You just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someones hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Dont be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back. Someone just yesterday called me brave. But what many fail to realize is we dont have a reason not to be. Lesson 11) Limitless is an option
Posted on: Fri, 22 Aug 2014 02:32:23 +0000
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