6 versus S*x So I got to handle a heightened escalations call coming from a feisty customer who wanted an uncustomary route in getting the iPhone 6 64 gig for free. Never wanting to escalate the call further, I did all my best to handle her concerns to the best that I could, feigning patience with her & deliberately turning off my innate ability to provoke anyone with my passive aggressive Miranda Priestly brand of sarcasm. As patiently and emphateticaly as I could, I discussed with her all the possible options while making them sound very attractive to her. She however declined the option to avail of the lease program by which to acquire the device as she did not like the huge deposit required at a corporate store. She therefore declined the second option i.e. the 24-month installment billing method as her kind of credit classification would still require her of about the same security deposit requirement plus the sales tax. Nevertheless, as she will end up paying for the full price of the phone anyway, I tried to sell to her the benefits of having to pay huge deposits for the device, to wit: a) shed get the phone without being required to pay upfront the full non-discounted $700 price and b) the deposit will take away a huge chunk of the non-discounted price of the phone thus reducing the 24 months shed have to pay off the device. I also talked her into entering the installment billing contract instead as under this agreement, shed end up keeping the phone. I also told her leasing the iPhone will make her give us back the phone in good shape ( which could only happen in a perfect world without thieves & accidents ) that is after her contracts up. She declined both options unless Id do something to make her credit class look good so she wont have to pay the deposit. I told her I cant do this as no one is directly responsible for the upkeep of her credit but her. Id like to tell her bluntly that she was born with her kind of credit history & its something not even the saints can improve but instead, I end up telling her the truth as politely as possible using a prodigious amount of euphemism & diplomatic smorgasbord. I know that in her heart she understood that she had never been a good payer in her whole life but she probably thought I was stupid enough to miss that. And so I re-presented the only other option she said she did not like in the first place- do a regular upgrade into the iPhone 6 and offset the discounted price of the phone with the $200 credit shed earn for selling us back her old 5s. If she wasnt only a trying hard second rate Diva copycat, this option wouldve been just perfect but she refused to go to the store & subject her old phones for buyback assessment. She also wouldnt want to purchase the phone online. On top of this, she gave me a litany of other impossible demands- loyalty credits,courtesies for her inconvenience, send her the iPhone 6 now ( which, due to unprecedented demand, is in back order for a month ). Worst, she asked for a manager despite my best efforts at telling her that we all go by the same policy, that my manager is no more powerful than I am in making the impossible possible for her. But my domineering customer insisted & held on for a manager. Due to a high call volume, I tried to talk her into a call back but she resisted. On several times while she was holding, I told her if I could put an URGENT Managerial call back label for her request. She said she could hold for a day. I was quietly praying her phone would die out of battery, but at 46 minutes of holding, it didnt. She had it plugged to a charger as she held on for a manager with me. I guess she was willing to stay with me up to my planned early retirement soon. Then her husband came on in the background teasing her to go to bed with him & sounding very horny. My hopes that shed give up holding for s&x & that shed agree to a call back went up again. As it turned out, my customer was evidently calling me from their bed room. Because I just placed her on a mute, I could actually overhear her husband insinuating to her if she could hang up now so they could make love as he had been so stressed from work. I overheard my customer tell her husband, No, Id hold. After a minute, while pretending not to have eavesdropped into their conversation, I told the customer at this very strategic time for call back re negotiation, Maam just let me know if you have changed your mind about holding further. My manager might actually just tell you the same thing. Also, its almost an hour that you have been on hold. Im only concerned that this might take up some of your time for rest or maybe for SOME OTHER IMPORTANT DUTIES What I was actually subtly suggesting to my customer was if she was willing to ignore her husbands pleadings for s&x just to be able to talk to my elusive manager. The customer then told me, I dont care about my husband. Id hold. Oh my God. She got my point. I cant believe she preferred holding to s$x! Im not going to get the iPhone 6. Based on the empirical data Ive gathered on my phone time, it just hits me that these types of people wanting it has lowered down its prestige to a just a phone every social climber wants to have- at all cost. Although my allegiance is still with the iPhone for its superb quality, I pity those whod want to get it as a status symbol and not for its usefulness. I mean, if one canafford it, then there are a couple of other cheaper phones that work just as well, this way they wont have to terrorize people into moving mountains for them. Oh, these poor victims of commercialism. Im not generalizing but I just dont want to join in this bandwagon of scums anymore.
Posted on: Fri, 26 Sep 2014 03:31:44 +0000
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