#81 Yazi ukuziphakamisa komuntu ongu zero ave kudina nje kuyacasula.... I just watched her ebofela lelo kabishi lakhe...worse ke lona belihamba lodwa kuncono ngisho leli layikhaya beline nyama eceleni. People finished eating saqoqa izintsha sayozigeza....it was a tuesday the funeral was on sunday. So besizokwenza lo msebenzi esingakhokhelwa kuyo till saturday. Later on the day my prince called nje sazixoxela he was missing me already yeah nhe. Days went by...people will come and go bezokhala...abantu abapheli ke bafika njalo bezokhala till usuku lwe funeral. On a saturday aybo there was heavy rain.....kwaba nodaka esingalwazi ekhaya....okwaxaka wonke umuntu ukuthi there were heavy rains before but udaka alukaze lwabakhona......we went to town no mamncane imoto yabhajwa on our way to town.....aybo zaningi izinkinga the day before the funeral.....3pairs of my shoes zaphelela kulolodaka esasiluxova that weekend. Luckily we were able to get help ngemoto yakhisha sahamba ngenye ka bhutwam uBee(Bayanda)......to do grocery. Sabuya...bekuzoba umlindelo ke ebusuku. We decided to peel izinto ezidinga ipeeling that night before....yabona kunala mafamily members afika nje ngoba sekudliwa......it was only my family(mamkhulu,mamncane,ayakha n slondi) and the ralatives ka gogo who were helping the night before the funeral. Abanye bathi belindele thina saqala amabhodwe ngabo 4:00am kubekwa istambu nokunye nje okuphuza ukuvuthwa. Angikaze ngibuthi quthu ubuthongo that day.....ekuseni ke sekuvukiwe....umndeni wacelwa ukuzobona umalume. My eyes couldnt believe ukuthi ngimbona okokugcina....it was like he is smilling :( ja nhe . The funeral went well nje kwaqedwa sasala as family member.....eish khona it was unbelievable ukuthi sabe sesimbekile endlini yakhe yokuphumula....we had to live with it kunzima kunjalo. Kungekudala bekuzoba nomshado....again we had to prepare for it.....mmmh malume wasishiya for good ke yena.....manje umamkhulu ey ekhaya bese sisele nje nogogo. There was no way futhi yokuvimba umntu eya emzini wakhe.....as its every woman wish ukugcina eshadile ephumile ekhaya. The wedding was on the 26th and 27th waphuma umakoti waye emzini wakhe eBhanganoma kaNongoma.....me and my big broe sasala ekhaya nogogo everybody baya koshadisa. Nje I was dying yi stress ngicabanga ukuthi impilo isizoba njani ngaphandle kwamalume nomamkhulu eduzane.......not ukuthi ithemba lami belikubo.....uThixo akafuni amathemba wethu siwabeke kubantu kepha ufuna siwabeke kuye. I knew God had better plans ngezimpilo zethu....He wouldnt take everyone away from us aqede angasifukameli. Yaphela idecember....izilonda zokulahlekelwa umalume zingakapholi but we had to move on ngempilo..uThixo uyawapholisa amanxeba. We were still pushing strong with Zamile....efona almost everyday shame my prince charming. Yafika iJanuary engaliyo....istress se registration......for the past 2years bengifunda ngikhokhelwa iNSFAS. Ayke yashintsha indaba 2012.....NSFAS ebengakhokhi sonke iskweletu...umthetho omusha ke ubusuthi you pay half of your debt then register with R4500.......bengikweleta R9845,50.....and 2012 ngathola ukuthi I didnt get NSFAS.........believe me that year I was so close to pyschosis.......and I thank God azange ngahlanya. Bengizoyithathaphi imali for registration. SRC tried to negotiate but things couldnt work out. I spent 2 days there trying to negotiate.....ey ngaphelelwa amathemba..... Yazi am not the type that easily give up...but on the 30th I gave up nge University of Zululand even my friend Slavity was shocked.....Aybo Athi,angikwazi uyileyo type eshasha uku give up,whats wrong she asked Me: angiyiboni into engiyihlalele lana Her: but cant you wait atleast kuphele iweek cause the SRC is still negotiating for us... Me: maybe awuboni kahle,have you looked around wabona bangakanani abantu who are waiting for that negotiation eningazi noma izolunga yini? Her: hawu oe asivule ama account then sithi sizokhokha nge stop order every month kanti siyazi leyo account ayisebenzi Me: yhoo ngeke oe ubugebengu ngeke I rather go home nje ayikho lento. Ey bekunzima....if Slavity ebesecabanga nobugebungu....usually it was her would give up early but I will push her......it was amazing that bekunguye ebegqugquzela mina that day but bengingafuni lutho. Her: okay ke oe kunama post eNursing aphumile,rather apply for them kunokuthi uhlale ekhaya mngani please. Me: (ngihleka) uyazizwa yini mina ne nursing akaze ngiziphuphe nje ngenza leyonto ungisuka ngani kodwa Her: ey mngani for meanwhile uzama imali yokufunda...I know you love agriculture but try your luck there kutholwa imali R3000 per month uzoyibeka . Me: ey I dont know. Ngizobona oe. You know sometimes....God just watch us from a distance sizenzela ama plans ngempilo zethu.....asho nje ukuthi buka lo mtwana ufuna ukwenza lokhu mina ngibe ngimfuna ngapha.....its good to have plans and dream career but if thats not what God wants for you believe me unendlela yokukususa lapho. The following day the 31st January I took a tax back home. No matter how much I tried to be okay I was just not okay...... It felt like my dream was shutted....it was like it was going down the drain... Ngafika ekhaya ngazivalela endlini I cried myself to sleep. It was like the whole world had turned it back on me. I had R2000 enganginikwe umamkhulu ngiya eskoleni....I didnt use it ngabuya nawo....put it under the matress.....I called my big broe I told him about the post ye nursing wathi uzongibhekela angilethele yona. I told ugogo I couldnt register cause angiwutholanga NSFAS so ngizohlala ekhaya angeke ngisafunda...ey yamphatha kabuhlungu leyo......uyakwazi ukuhlala ekhaya ube uminenhle akumnandi and I wasnt planning to do that...I was going to hustle everyday. Zamile on the side was heart broken wangifakela imali to look after myself....ethi uzozama shame ukuthola enye abone angeke yini ahlanganise ukuze ngiyo register......mmmmh see my prince charming he was heaven sent believe me :P I told him not to worry I will try to get a piece job......hhayke being him he didnt approve of that. My big broe wafika ne newspaper ebine post...I wrote the letter..and my cv, certified all the required documents I post. That year Ayakha ebengumuntu oqedile nje eselinde ukuyo graduata loool exhaphaza abeveki cha mina she wouldnt dare cause I knew everything.....all I wanted to see nje ukuthi ebezogcina kuphi namanga wakhe...phela graduation was on May.... Ebethi if ebuzwa ukuthi ugraduata nini athi usalinde ama results akhe kodwa ngo May if ephasile....ay bengivele ngife ihlaya shame....baze basola ke ekhaya ukuthi ay khona okukhona la. I decided to tell my brother ukuthi akukho Ayakha la ozo graduata engakaze afunde ngoba wagcina 2009 ukufunda. Shame my brother was disappointed but ke whose future was it to worry vele???? She got a piece job yokushanela esalon....yacabanga people knew she was studying at UniZulu manje bekubaxaka if eseshanela esaloon kodwa ke abaphice ngokuthi usabambile nje ngoba engatholi owakhe umsebenzi. Ja nhe. Le eyimi ke ibiyehla yenyuka with brown envelops ngifaka everywhere ngifuna umsebenzi cause I couldnt imagine myself ngijika nelanga. Ey abantu bengibukisa okwesilima nale brown envelop. I remember the day ngiyo posa izinto for the post ye nursing....ngadlula la kudayisa khona umama ka Ayakha......ey umtomdala wathi nje ay suka vele wena Athandiwe nje ubungasafuni ukufunda Yazi lawo mazwi angixaka nje ukuthi ebesuke kuphi aze asho njalo. But decided to let go cause mna bengimazi owami uThixo ukuthi unamacebo amahle. ***************************** Am sorry lovers....I had a busy busy day today....goodnyt love you all
Posted on: Mon, 22 Sep 2014 18:54:19 +0000
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