A friend of mine went to hajj a while back and has shared this piece with me :) very important lessons in here. Remember we are in blessed days, people :) " The Odor My very first experience of different places during hajj was nothing like I imagined. The highs were there of course at times, but the lows revealed to me, and stemmed from my, very own weaknesses and embarrassing flaws. An experience I cannot forget was the first time I entered the sacred mosque in Makkah or The “Haram”. You would expect this to be an out of this world experience that people from all over the world long to witness. But my own experience could not have been expected or at that time explained. Not sure if denial is the word, but this is how I deal with what I cannot handle. I move to the functional mode, focus on one step at a time that gets me from point a to point b, trying meanwhile to disregard emotions that would hinder or paralyse me. So what does a person with an innate phobia of crowds do when in the midst of it? Just concentrate on my very steps focusing on the ground instead of encompassing the big overwhelming picture. It was right after Maghrib (sunset) prayer and we decided to stay there until ‘Isha prayer. I did not even get to see ka’bah. We took the side ramp then the escalators that take you right to the 3rd floor where less crowd is expected. I gave my husband my hand and let him lead me through it all and like a child he had me sit in a semi-clear area where I could read Qur’an before prayer starts. I sat there on the ground keeping an eye on him fearing that I lose him and for some reason that was my main concern because I did not want to be lost. How fragile to be in the most sacred place on earth and blessed by the All-Mighty to be in His House, yet be debilitated by fear and thus losing sight of what really matters. Was that all? Nope! An elderly lady was sitting on my right. The poor thing was massaging her aching legs that she could not stand on. She seemed tired and there was an odor coming from her direction. I know that odor. It is the one of excessive sweating for days that is not being taken care of. It can be easily explained really when you know that many of the hajjis come from very far hotels and cannot afford the transportation to and from the Haram, so they decide to remain there instead for the whole day. It is a natural outcome of the heat, the sweating after walking long distances to the Haram and staying there for a whole day or more. I know that that lady is a way better person than me; if I am to be compared to her in the first place. Unlike the pampered one staying in the 7-star hotel steps away from the Haram loaded with antibacterial lotions and wipes and coming from a clean and self-conscious society phobic about bodily odors and personal hygiene, this lady left it all to be all there as long as she can and afford to be and having a clean, pure heart instead. She might be sweaty but she is actually clean renewing her ablution (mandatory for prayer) as often as possible as it fits to be in that sacred place. What was my embarrassing one concern right there and then? The whiffs of what seemed to be a suffocating odor every time the lady makes a move. I do have a very sharp smelling sense and nothing I would do could distract me from that overwhelming odor that came my way uninvited and just stayed there. I tried to open Qur’an to read, but I could not. I tried to make du’a and supplicate but that too was not doable. I honestly could not breathe in any of that; I honestly could not. I then looked at the sky in what seemed to me to be a miserable state and the uncontrolled sobbing started. O Allah please forgive me; I am so very deeply and wholeheartedly sorry. This is how weak my faith is. This is the terrible person I really am. I thought I was good enough to be there, but this is how my true colors showed and how my poor self behaved when the rubber hit the road. My husband came to pick me up when the prayers ended and was taken aback when he saw the bawling taking place. I was just fine when he left me, a bit panicky but fine. It was too embarrassing to explain but I did and his reply was that it was not fair to say that. I do remember that I did not say anything about the lady that I could not remember how she looked. I just talked about the odor, but the lesson did not end there. We started our ihram state for hajj in Madinah. This is when you take a shower, dress in ihram clothes for men and regular ones for women, and behave in a way that involves no aggression, no arguing, no misbehaviour of any sort and refrain from anything that is scented. It is a state I loved as it prepares you physically and spiritually for what is to come. We reached Makkah after a long 8-hour bus ride, stayed the night as a group, moved to tents in Mina the next day in busses, spent the whole day and night in Mina, moved to Arafah after dawn, spent the whole day in Arafah, then spent the night in Muzdalifah in the open on a rocky plain, then walked back to Mina on foot to prepare for another long walk right after it for “Jamarat”, the following ritual. The point is that, although you are allowed to shower during that time, you try to avoid it so that no hair falls (a violation of the state of ihram) during the showering or brushing. “Smells” familiar? Yes, the very same odor! I could never believe that it wass coming from me and I could not stand it. But by the time I got to that point I understood why. They kept preparing us before hajj by seminars explaining that in case we are ever invited to dinner in the White House for example, we would dress up and be in our finest behaviour. How would we behave if we are invited by the Lord of the whole universe in case we are invited to his house? Finest behaviours yes, but dressing up? That was a worldly thing that tells nothing about who we really are. That is why Allah does not consider how we look but really sees our hearts and how we are deep inside our souls. I found myself apologizing again on Arafah day while supplicating. This time it was for how dishevelled I looked when talking to my Lord. But it dawned on me that this is the very point! You come to your Lord in need, begging for His mercy and asking for His sweet forgiveness for all that you are very aware of doing. You cannot come in a fancy state according to worldly standards. He wants to see your heart and that very heart is the hardest to purify, guard and always be conscious of."
Posted on: Tue, 08 Oct 2013 08:32:48 +0000
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