A little journal time..... Yesterday was our son Lukass fourth birthday. I was thinking thats one more year on this earth than Charli got to spend with us however in my heart and mind she is five and about to turn six next month still... You see to me she still ages as if she were here with us, however i constantly think about what she may now look like and how tall she would or wouldnt be if she followed after her mummy height wise. Lukas has been asking more and more questions lately about his sister and using the D word alot, he has been asking me what happened to her and really pressing me for information details. He asked daaaad, did Charli die in the hospital you go to all the time, the one we go to sometimes? pretty straight to the point for a then three year old huh? i guess hes like me in that way. So i told him that yes Charli did pass away in that hospital and he asked how so i told him and explained to him in simple terms why and how and he just looked and listened and he then asked me when is she coming back? Hes sort of figured a few things out for himself so i dont see the point in hiding anything from him if he is asking, i would prefer him to know the simple truth rather then he come up with something freaky himself. I told him she is not coming back to which he answered ohhhhh ahhhhh oooook *puzzled look on his face* he then asked can we go and see her? to which i said no thats not possible. We tell him she is in heaven, a special place He then asked if we could go and see her room at the hospital to which i told him of course we can go see her room...which is probably a good idea because in a few months it shall be gone forever due to the hospital move. He seem to ask these questions about once a week or so and the way they come out of his mouth i can tell hes really been thinking about it before asking, which is Lukas all over with pretty much anything he is asking about, hes a real character in that way ;) I told my boy if he ever wants to ask me anything or tell me something then he can talk to me about it anytime, for me its not as tough as it may sound reading what ive written here today, we love talking about our girl and its not something weve forced upon our boy hes just chosen to start talking and asking about her by hinself lately and part of me is in despair and the other part i am stoked he is talking about his sister. Back to Lukass birthday yesterday... Lukas had a fantastic day yesterday and it was great to spend time with family once again, for us as Charlis parents it was pretty much bittersweet as it always is at pretty much every milestone event. We had a great day with our boy and family however in the back of our minds was Charli throughout the whole day, she should have been here giggling and playing with Lukas too...but of course she wasnt. After our little father son chat the other day about Charli i really feel i have some kind of new deeper connection with my son it felt good to talk to him about that stuff and i am glad we waited and let him open the door himself to bring that particular subject up with him. When it came time for Lukas to have his birthday cake we all stood around the kitchen table and i lit the candles on the fabulous cake Katie my wife had prepared, everyone was singing Happy Birthday loudly when i snuck in close to Lukas and whispered in his ear Charlis here for you too little mate he quickly glanced at me with a little smile and we carried on singing his cheer and he blew out his candles. I cant believe my boy is now four! Thanks for reading and your support. Steve.
Posted on: Mon, 25 Aug 2014 07:10:14 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015