Actual Label Instructions mark as unreadIn case you needed further proof that the Human Race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer products:1. On a blanket from Taiwan - NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists - REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.3. On a Taiwanese shampoo - USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink - AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.5. On a New Zealand insect spray - THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer - TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)7. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful hemorrhoids - LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.8. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles - OPEN OTHER END.9. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins - WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVORITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?10. On a Sears hairdryer - DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.11. On a bag of Fritos - YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE. (The shoplifter special?!?)12. On a bar of Dial soap - DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP. (And that would be how?)13. On Tescos Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) - DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN. (Too late! You lose!)14. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING. (Are you sure? Lets experiment.)15. On a Korean kitchen knife - WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN. (Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?)16. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY. (As opposed to what?...use in outer space?)17. On a Japanese food processor - NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE. (Now Im curious.)18. On Sainsburys peanuts - WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS. (Really? Peanuts contain nuts?)19. On an American Airlines packet of nuts INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS. (Im glad they cleared that up.)20. On a Swedish chainsaw - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS. (What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)21. On a childs superman costume - WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY. (Thats right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)22. On some frozen dinners: SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST. ( OK lets eat it frozen!!!)23. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: FITS ONE HEAD.24. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.25. On Boots Childrens cough medicine: DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.(Kids no more driving)26. On Nightly sleep aid: WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS. (Duh!)
Posted on: Sat, 19 Oct 2013 01:29:04 +0000
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