After all these years, if something bad happens or if Im sad I never really show that Im upset. Ive never been the one to talk about whats going on in my brain. My heart hurts for the ones I push away. Somedays I still wish I was with the guy who hurt me the most, but I know deep down I know its not a good idea. I move on, attempt to be happy, something bad happens, and I start this cycle all over. Thats what it is a cycle, its just like life. You wake up, brush your teeth, shower, go to work or school, hang out with friends, come home, watch tv, go to sleep, wake up and do it all over again everything has some sort of cycle to it My life has changed drastically in the past couple months, and at night I lay in bed and just think too much almost to the point where I dont know if Im happy or sad. Thinking keeps me up for hours, sometimes it keeps me up all night. Am I depressed? Maybe. But can you be depressed and be a happy person at the same time? I dont know. I guess you cant be two totally different things at once. You can be either one or the other. If time could just stop, that would probably make me happy. It would give me time to think. Instead of waking up, working a 10 hour shift, and then come home and lay in bed because Im physically and mentally tired but my brain forces me to lie awake and wonder Im so unhappy.
Posted on: Mon, 24 Mar 2014 10:40:10 +0000
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