BEWARE !!! BORING OVERSHARER ALERT!!! In the true spirit of my over sharing on Facebook (and putting it out there to keep me honest), I have had a mammoth week. Russell asked me to marry him and yep I said yes, and took the super lazy and very public, slip it out as a relationship status change, to try and save myself three thousand phonecalls. It worked far better than anticipated, and was lovely to see all the congrats and well wishes. This week is also going to be a roller coaster of emotion. I head to hospital for Bariartric surgery at 6am tomorrow. Earlier this year I had an appointment with a surgeon that I had been on the waiting list for three years for. I was ambivalent about the whole thing and interested in other peoples experiences, thoughts, opinions and ideas. In conjunction with the appointment with the surgeon (a man who answered each and every one of my tricky numbered questions, with skill, honesty and a great deal of evidence... That was probably the selling point that tipped me in favour of proceeding (ok every day since Ive decided Im having it/not having it/having it... You get the idea....). Its led to a great deal of my own research, probably looking for a legitimate out, journal articles, documentaries, medical sources, social media. Friends who graciously shared their own personal journey.... Every left field question had honest answers. No one has a vested interest in my going ahead with it, except me, and hopefully my family and friends, with my hope of being around a hell of a lot longer. Every anaesthetic comes with risks, so does eating chicken with bones and crossing the road. Im hoping the good outweighs the bad and that this guys statistics are as fabulous as he showed me. Seeing friends move, breathe, talk and walk with greater ease, sooooo has me wanting a price of that. Theoretically this will help me break my relationship with food. It hasnt totally been my friend over the years, oh its been there for every celebration and commiseration, but it has also been there at midnight, tempting me and taunting me. This last few years, I havent lost anything, previously it has always been a roller coaster that I could step off for a bit, walk the straight line, get with the program and lose the weight for a while. Oh it would sneak back on on the back of cheers and tears, but this last three years has been a bugger. Is taken all my calorie counting effort and getting with the program, not to lose weight, but to stop putting on more than I am currently. I followed the points or calories to a tee, to lose nothing, super frustrating. Doing the preop stuff Ive lost 6 kilos. From my fingertips I reckon. I cant remember the last time I actually lost weight. BUT my intake has quartered or from what a normal person needs to sustain their basic metabolic rate, yep the energy some one needs to take in to breathe and sleep, in half or less... And one of those is what it actually took to shift anything... How much has previous dieting etched wrecked my metabolism? Or not wrecked it per se, it functions amazingly well at storing energy on my butt for later... Well it is ending tomorrow. This battle has gone on long enough. My turn to wage a war. And I have no idea of the outcome... No battle cry, lots of fear, questioning my logic and decision making capacity. This next week will be hideous. The next four apparently tough, and after that, every day will be a day to be dealt with as they roll on. Im optimistic that good stuff will come out if it, hopefully it will result in less medication, less pain, and less me... Well the lumpitty bits anyway. Its not the perfect solution, if it was it would happen minus the pain and crappy week to come. But I have pain anyway. Sure it will be different, but it will end. I will be able to reverse tidy my wardrobe out as things begin to fit again. Hopefully all the way back to 1989... Yep I really do have some stuff in there from then... Cant hardly get to it because of all my current large items of clothing, but Im looking forward to that cathartic reverse journey thru my life via my wardrobe and the shedding of those layers. And hopefully a reverse journey for my blood pressure too...
Posted on: Sun, 09 Nov 2014 13:36:07 +0000
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