CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #116 AN OPEN LETTER TO THE BOARD OF DISNEY If you are indeed seeking new leadership, I urge you to think outside the box. And whats outside the box? Me. Overlooking for the moment my ill-fated attempt to buy your company outright, I would like you to now consider me as an appropriate choice for CEO. What are my qualifications? Well, to begin with, I own a beautiful Zegna suit and I know where to buy more (this may sound silly but lets face it, half the job is lookin CEOish). I am in awe of Harvey Weinstein and Steve Jobs and will act like a slavish sycophant in all my dealings with them (at least until I get a deal to write and direct a quirky movie for Miramax about a troubled sitcom writer and a Mac G-5 from Jobs at dealers cost). While were on the subject of key corporate relationships, I will also make every effort to get along with Roy for the simple reason that he looks so much like his uncle its spooky. I think internationally (e.g. I will make a respectful, but action-packed buddy movie about Krishna and Buddha which wont open big in the U.S. but will do boffo box office in parts of the world where there are lots of people). I will be a real team leader and encourage our network execs to make TV shows that dont suck. I will lessen our reliance on minimum wage teenagers dancing around dressed as big-headed, cartoon characters. Im not a big hockey fan but Ill keep the Ducks going because as a professional comedy writer I understand the importance of the word puck, not to mention the inherent laughs that come with big guys on skates hitting each other with sticks. And finally, to demonstrate my comprehension of corporate synergy, I will immediately commission thrilling new roller-coasters to be built in Anaheim that incorporate elements of two legendary ABC series, Dharma & Greg and Grace Under Fire (I can personally guarantee that the Grace ride will be very scary). chucklorre
Posted on: Mon, 29 Dec 2014 03:34:50 +0000
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