Coming back from my uncle Larry Rays funeral in Decatur, Georgia. He was a remarkable, generous, complicated man. A doctor, a radiologist by specialty, but with an encyclopedic knowledge of medicine, learned in Navy service circa 1957-62. He helped practically everyone in my extended family, including me, with diagnosis and treatment of our maladies. My cousins Susan Ray and Larry Ray Jr. both became doctors too. Another cousin, Amy Ray, is one half of the Indigo Girls. His wife Frances was always so beautiful and gracious and caring. He was the oldest of four children. My mother, Janet Ray Edwards, was number two — only 14 months younger, and locked in mortal combat with him from birth (but also learned from him and loved him very deeply). Hope she will publish the transcendent eulogy she gave at the funeral. When I was a kid I thought Larrys basement — crammed to the ceiling with gas-powered, radio-controlled model airplanes, electrical parts, and tools — was just about the most interesting place in the world. He inherited my grandfathers beach house in Englewood, Florida, but he managed it as an extended family resource, and all of us passed many sweet days and nights there, as well as fishing or waterskiing in the Gulf of Mexico from his boat. I hated his Fox News politics as much as he hated my New York Times, but that never stopped him from loving or from giving, which he did endlessly and selflessly — I cant tell you how many times the word generous came up in yesterdays remembrances. I hadnt seen most of my aunts, cousins, and (now) first cousins once removed — i.e. my cousins children — in at least 5 years. (Now that Larrys gone, Ive got no uncles left.) What lovely and talented families! Larry missed the birth of another grandchild, Amys, by a couple of days — her partner Carries due date is Monday — and died just shy of his 80th birthday. Highlights at the end, when most of the non-family guests had left: passing around the guitar (Amy and me) and the piano (my brother Michael), singing Amazing Grace a cappella with everyone, listening to Amy and Susans daughter Laurie playing songs from the Rocky Horror Picture Show, with Laurie on ukelele. (If you think thats weird, Laurie says theres a ukelele version of AC/DC going around. Now thats just wrong.) And oh yeah, the best dessert in the world — pecan pie. You just cant get that in the North. Bye, Larry. You had a great ride, and you raised a fabulous family, and you shared it all with us. We wont forget you.
Posted on: Sun, 03 Nov 2013 17:57:27 +0000
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