CrazySweet, Congrads on your new page! I like it a lot! Your posts are always so cheerful and funny! Even when you were on LLA, I always thought you were funny and it always seems as if actually care about people. So, I figured I would send you my problem and see if you could offer any advice. I met this woman on another FB page about 4 months ago. We really hit it off! She is a really, terrific woman. Our conversation flows so easily. I catch myself looking forward to speaking to her every day. And I think she may be feeling the same way. We are both in our mid-30’s, so we aren’t about that foolishness. We both are looking for long-term. The issue is this, we are not in the same city. We live about 6 hours away from one another and we are making plans to meet one another in August. My problem is, I haven’t been 100% honest to her about my appearance. I am a big girl. And I didn’t tell her that. She has seen pictures of me, but I have not shown her a full body shot and I didn’t tell her I was a big girl. I don’t know how she would react to this she is a thin woman. She didn’t say she doesn’t like big women, but we never talked about it. I feel like I have lied to her and that makes me feel just awful as this could potentially go somewhere and I’m afraid my insecurities have ruined it. CrazySweet, what if anything do you think I should do? I appreciate any advice you can offer! Hey Ms. Lady! Thank you so very much for your email! And thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate it. I like to think I genuinely care about people..Lol! When I read your email, it really touched my heart. It was almost as if I had written it myself. I have also had these moments of insecurities when it comes to my weight as well. So, I completely understand where you are coming from. I knew a woman who is beautiful, she is truly beautiful to me and she and I got a long smashingly. She was an athlete, a freaking athlete! Hell, sometimes I think she might still be..Lol And when I found out she was an athlete, I freaked out, b/c I’m also a big girl and I just knew she wouldn’t be interested in me. After all, she was a damn athlete! But I was honest with her. She and I had a weight conversation, ONCE. A never again. And she was still a damn athlete! Those insecurities were mine and mine alone. I did not want to put my insecurities on her b/c if she felt like I wasn’t comfortable with who I was. Then that would make her uncomfortable. And that wasn’t something I was interested in doing. She never ever made me feel as if I wasn’t attractive or that she wasn’t attracted to me, b/c of my weight. All while still being an athlete! Lol! My advice to you is this. I would come clean. Right now. I wouldn’t let another day go by without her knowing that you are a plus-size woman. Now b/c you weren’t honest with her, she just might be upset and want nothing else to do with you. Which is her right, after all you were not honest from jump. And when people doing so much pretending and lying online these days, people are being more cautious, understandably so. But I would come clean, offer absolutely no excuses as to why you weren’t forthcoming. And allow her to make her decision. Own up to your responsibility and if she is upset, allow her to be upset. After telling her if she is still upset. If you care for her as it seems you do, wait a few days and reach out to her again, if not by phone, maybe an email. And apologize. And explain, now sometimes people don’t want to hear your explanation b/c it gives them the opportunity to think “what else has she lied about?” if you like this woman, make yourself vulnerable and expect her not to have the utmost faith in you for a while. You can come back from a lie. But it won’t be easy. And sometimes it doesn’t work and we have to chalk it up to the game. Next time, remember to be honest about who you are, if the person doesn’t accept you that. Then that person may not be the person for you. Good Luck & Let me know what happens! CrazySweet
Posted on: Mon, 29 Jul 2013 14:12:31 +0000
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